MONDO EXTRAS

At the actual tribal council, which was substantially less entertaining, Tina was voted off, due to "the stigma of being a former winner." In a bonus interview, Tina says that she knew she was in trouble, and basically reiterates that she was voted off for being a winner, and knew they'd keep Ethan for challenges. "It's been a blast," she says. Yeah, okay. I'm glad she went early, because I have never seen a Survivor contestant so unrelentingly boring in all my life.

In more new footage, it turns out that as of Day 4, Colby was...chafing. To the point where he was walking around rather oddly, as a matter of fact. Kathy and Hatch sit around the campfire discussing how Colby is gradually becoming more and more incapacitated by all the chafing. Colby is then subjected to possibly the most embarrassing interview ever, short of the ones about how the pooping is going. "My gait, if you will, is my attempt to get a little air flow goin' in there, and hopefully, with a little time, everything's gonna heal," he says. Until then, there's no choice but to be "as bowlegged as a bull rider." He wraps up thusly: "It hurts. Somethin' fierce." I'll bet. Lesson of the week: one good luxury item might be baby powder.

If you will recall, locked boxes arrived at each camp, leading to a lot of speculating. (They don't show my favorite part, which is when Jenna Morasca thought there might be an animal in the box.) When Saboga won a log-fetching reward challenge, they were put in the position of choosing between blankets for themselves and fire for everyone, and they chose fire for everyone. The tribes finally managed to get fire, and Rupert danced in a very too-much-information fashion in which we learned that Colby is not the only one trying to get a little air flow going through the downstairs area, if you see my point.

We now learn that Chapera has spent some time on the problem of "understanding Big Tom." Not in a psychological sense, but in a simpler linguistic sense. As they all lie around on the beach, Big Tom says something like, "We ain't gonna get a maid among us," and B-Rob asks if anybody understood what he just said. Quick "no"s all around. Amber interviews that she finds Big Tom terribly amusing, even if she never understands what he says. As B-Rob and Amber lounge on the beach with Big Tom, he unleashes an entire line that makes no sense at all, and B-Rob calls for a translator. "I have no clue what you just said," Amber laughs. B-Rob interviews that it is indeed very difficult to understand the big guy. There's a wonderful scene where Big Tom and Sue are heading past B-Rob, and Big Tom says something or other. "Huh?" Rob says. Big Tom repeats it. Rob, even more baffled: "What?" Big Tom repeats it again, more slowly, and facing B-Rob. Big Tom even gestures off into the distance, offering some elaboration on his comment that is just as unintelligible as the comment itself. Giving up on ever understanding this particular remark, Rob just says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Big Tom walks away, and B-Rob makes a hilarious "Wow" face. He picks up some logs and starts walking back toward camp, mumbling to himself in his own version of Big-Tom-ese. "Nuh-muh-nuh-muh-muh...what?" Now he understands what it's like to recap certain episodes of The West Wing.