Survivor
A Closer Look (a.k.a. All-Star Redux)

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Everything Old Is New Again

Back at Camp Chapera, they all vowed to stay true to their alliance. Oh, and they sang and danced around because it was so funny how Sue left under a pall of feeling like she'd been assaulted. That really is pretty hilarious.

The next day at Mogo Mogo, we now learn, Lex and Shii Ann decided to work on taking advantage of the new stash of coffee beans that they won the day before. They mixed up a pot of extremely strong coffee, and everyone in the tribe dipped into it generously. They all commented on how wired the coffee made them feel, which I personally think was true, but exaggerated because of the group setting. It sort of reminds me of fifteen tenth-graders drinking two swallows of beer apiece and then talking about how incredibly drunk they are. Coffee will make you wired, but it won't make you freak out the way these people are doing, in my experience. Colby tries out his cartwheels on the beach. Ethan and Colby try to make little funnies back and forth at each other, and just...no. Colby interviews that introducing coffee into the camp made a huge difference. Speaking solely for myself, I wish they had later been informed that due to the health concerns of feeding caffeine to people who haven't been eating, they had been given decaf. Now that would have been really funny. The remains of Mogo Mogo sit around making funny faces and funny noises and oh my God, I GET IT. They're wired. Seriously, these people just aren't that funny. When Colby is the funniest person in a group of six, you have an issue you need to address, and the issue is that none of you is very funny. Kathy claims that the caffeine cured her vision problems (har har!), and then we see some kind of speed-walking thing that she and Colby are doing down the beach while going to get water. Watching this segment, it occurs to me that I could use a little coffee myself. It's not always easy staying awake.

At Chapera, we see that B-Rob is snuggling quite a bit with both Amber and Jenna. "I got two beautiful women, and they want to make a sandwich outta me. What am I gonna do? Would you say no?" he asks. Jenna rationalizes in an interview that she's friends with Amber and Rob, so they all just kind of "sleep connected." I'm not sure that's even worthy of an "is that what the kids are calling it these days?" remark. She says all the intertwined sleeping is done "as friends." She presumably means on her part, it's done as friends, because if she's lying on top of B-Rob and doesn't realize that he's practically licking Amber's neck, that is unfortunate. Amber interviews that she's "definitely conscious of Jenna hanging out with Rob a lot, and I think it's definitely a good thing...it takes some of the tension off of me and Rob hanging out together." She goes on to insist that she will not "get jealous of any of her hanging on him or doing anything like that." Convincing, except not at all. She says that she has Rob wrapped around her little finger, and I believe that's probably true, but I ain't buying that Jenna's being snuggly with him isn't bugging Amber. When you say something is fine with you, you can say it's "definitely" not bugging you, but you can't say "definitely" twice, or you become less than credible, as far as I'm concerned. B-Rob assures us that there's "strategy to everything," including his contacts with Amber and Jenna. He hauls out the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" routine, and closes with his usual "I'm here to play" line. "At the end of all this, hopefully Amber and I can be having some fun together, and we'll be spending my million. Worst-case scenario, we'll be spending hers." And he grins. Yeesh. Sleeeeeeaze.

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