Survivor
A Lost Puppy Dog

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A Lost Puppy Dog
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Malakal returns to camp from Tribal Council and everyone is buzzing about Tracy's accusations that Ozzy is leading the tribe. While everyone tells Ozzy it's not a big deal, he won't let it go and insists that he is not the leader of the tribe. Instead, he says, everyone in the tribe has his own job to do, and they all do their jobs well. Ozzy's job just happens to be leading people. Looking really stoned, Ozzy tells us he's not a leader; he just has a lot of good survival ideas to force upon his minions.

In night vision, even though I'm pretty sure this is going on during the day, Cirie and Ami are armed with machetes and skulking around the woods. They freeze, and Cirie makes a face while Ami looks around. A crab ducks behind a log. "Keep going," Ami whispers. They climb a pile of rocks (or rather, Ami climbs it while Cirie probably makes a face or something) and the music picks up. A crab peeks out from behind a rock. "A big ass one!" Cirie calls out. Ami's on it, leaping into action and hacking away at the crab with her machete. "Nice work," Ami pats herself on the back. Nice work, indeed. Ami has managed to kill a crab of modest size that should provide the group with an eighth of an ounce of meat. Have they killed those chickens yet? I was sort of expecting to see a big ol' chicken slaughter as soon as they returned from booting Tracy. The sun "rises" as Cirie cooks up her and Ami's catch. They brag that they killed eight crabs and are the "Crab Warriors." Amanda walks up and girlfriends them all as Ozzy looks on.

Later, Ozzy and Ami chop coconuts. He's still worried that people think he's the leader of the tribe, but Ami tells him not to worry about it. She says she has no intention of getting rid of Ozzy, and that even when Tracy came to her with the plan to get rid of Ozzy, Ami told Tracy no way. Hmm, I guess this was when Tracy was wearing her very convincing Ami mask she fashioned out of sand and pieces of coral, as I recall someone who looked a lot like Ami being the one responsible for this plan. In fact, Ami says, pouring it on nice and thick, it was she, the Crab Warrior, who "stopped anything crazy from happening." Ozzy's even more worried now, but Ami again tells him not to worry about anything. Ozzy tells us that Ami is a little bit too quick to swear her allegiance to him. "I'm starting to get uneasy feelings," Ozzy says.

Over at Airai, everyone's sitting around engaging in their favorite activity: talking about foods they can't have. I have no idea why you'd want to torture yourself with this, but it's something that every contestant on this show does every season. The Palau cast used to recite their favorite recipes over and over again every night. Jason gets so into the food discussion that when he spots a rat, he takes out a paddle and kills it. The girls scream, and not in happiness at a new source of food. "Aw, poor guy," Jason says. I wish he'd been that sympathetic before he murdered it. Jason says there's not very much meat on it, but he's going to eat it anyway. He'd fucking better; if he killed the rat and didn't use it for food then he'd be an asshole as well as an idiot. Jason says no one's eaten a rat since Season One, and thanks for making me have to go find that link buried under fifteen seasons of show, Jason. He concludes that this is really cool. I guess he has no way of knowing that Amanda killed a SHARK with her bare hands, thereby making his little catch look all the punier, ha ha ha! Parvati also disagrees with Jason, but puts it even better than I could, saying Jason's been trying to impress them since they got on the island but "it's not working. I think he's a loser." OUCH, though. I kind of feel sorry for Jason as I imagine him at home, surrounded by family and friends for weekly viewing night, with a single tear rolling down his cheek while the rest of the audience looks around in an uncomfortable and prolonged silence.

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