A Mystery Package

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Signed, Sealed, Delivered
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The Julie-less tribe return to camp. Steve is feeling conciliatory towards Phillip, so he approaches him. They shake hands, and Steve says there's no need for either of them to apologize because they both said what they felt like they needed to say. Phillip interviews that Steve told him he wasn't a racist and shook his hand, but Phillip doesn't think he was being "totally genuine." Steve explains to Phillip that he didn't call Phillip crazy because he's black, but because he really does think Phillip is crazy. Ha! How much more genuine can you be? Phillip continues in the interview that he thought Steve's gesture was "self-serving." Right, unlike everyone else on this show who are always so selfless. I guess Phillip doesn't appreciate Steve still calling him crazy, or the women laughing at him in the background when he does it. He wants Steve to go next. Which means he won't. For his part, Steve interviews that he thinks that Phillip should have been the one to reach out to him, but he didn't. I think Steve is still pissed at Phillip for accusing him of being a racist on a national television, which I don't blame him for. But, he says, he has to keep being friendly to the other alliance in the hopes that Rob will decide to keep him and Ralph around instead of the annoying and troublesome Phillip. Rob interviews that he has no intention of voting Phillip out any time soon, specifically because he's so annoying and troublesome.

The next morning, Steve and Ralph sit by the fire and comment that they are the last of their tribe. "Where's numbnuts?" Steve then asks. He's talking about Phillip, of course, who he still can't stand despite his peacemaking attempt last night. So maybe Phillip was right to say he wasn't being genuine. Phillip, by the way, is walking along the beach with no pants on, thanks to Julie hiding them yesterday. Fortunately for Phillip, his Cherokee great-great-grandfather clued him in on where to find his swimsuit in an early morning vision. Phillip's great-great-grandfather has now played a bigger part in this show than 75% of Phillip's tribe. He grabs a shovel and starts digging around where his great-great-grandfather told him to. Also where Julie told him to, since I believe she dropped a few big hints at Tribal before she left. Oh, and also where the producers told him to, because they aren't about to spend the rest of this season looking at Phillip sans shorts, especially when it comes to water challenges. While ridiculous epic music plays, Phillip digs up his shorts and celebrates with "am I good or what?" I hope his great-great-grandfather yells at him for hogging all the credit in his next vision. Phillip interviews about how he, as a Former Federal Agent? knows how to uncover the truth, while Julie "can't stand the truth" or "can't take the truth," as Phillip says in an attempt to quote Jack Nicholson's character from A Few Good Men. And, of course, being Phillip, he does it wrong. Phillip can't handle the correct wording of the A Few Good Men quote. Phillip walks into camp holding his shorts and carries on about how awesome he is. "Show me the cash! Life is like a box of candies!" he cries victoriously. He adds that people should know better than to mess with him, as it is "frutile." Yes, he said "frutile." One time I went to a local farmer's market hoping to find some fresh, reasonable-priced strawberries, but they were all way too expensive and not even that ripe. My effort was frutile.

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