Survivor
A Slippery Little Sucker

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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And So It Endzzzzzz...

Now, Jaime asks Amanda to comment on Todd. Amanda says essentially that a true strategic genius would have been able to play more elegantly than just lying to everybody. Interesting theory, but...weak-ass answer. "He lied too much for me," Amanda says. Even worse answer! Jaime encourages Todd to shit-talk Amanda in response. Todd basically says, "I did the dirty work for the nice girl." I'm still...I have to say, I'm still waiting for Todd to discuss one strategic thing he actually did -- as Amanda has discussed booting James, as she has discussed her thinking about physical threats -- in any of this discussion. Dirty work like what? Strategizing like what? It's remarkable to me that when Todd says something like, "They played their game strategically, but I played mine more strategically," nobody says, "LIKE HOW?" Finally, Jaime sits down.

Aaaaaand Denise. She opens with this crock of shit: "I'm glad you all can look me in the eye, that's nice." Oh, Denise. "I'm just up here, I'm a lunch lady, I dedicate my life to being honest, to being fair." If you take out all the untrue parts of that statement, of course, it comes out as, "I'm just up here." She goes into precisely the "poor pitiful me" speech you're expecting, complaining bitterly about how they all looked her in the eye and shook her hand and so forth. She tells them that she's convinced that the jury would have given her the money, so she basically thinks they took a million dollars away from her family, so she's going forward with that tone. Denise starts off by telling Amanda that she's lied even though she said she wouldn't (apparently, Denise thinks you have to announce that you're going to lie to people in advance, which...sort of defeats the purpose). She proclaims that you can't tell when Todd is telling the truth. "If you have these things in you that you can do that to people without even thinking about it, without even batting an eye, your conscience needs to be cleaned. You need to turn over a new leaf. You need to look inside yourself as well and realize what you do that affects a lot of people."

Wait. I need to lie down and take some anti-irony medication. I'll be right back.

Okay. WHEW! She moves on to Courtney, saying that Courtney is honest and outgoing and means what she says. So that's about the size of it for Denise, who has just prepared the karmic sandwich that will, in about six months, be stuffed down her throat with a razor-blade chaser.

And finally, Jeff Probst brings this to a close, telling everyone that now, it's up to the jury, and they will now vote. Back from commercials, Jeff explains that you're supposed to vote for who you think is "most deserving" of the win. Jaime goes first. She votes for Todd, with a smiley-face inside the "O." She says that he didn't originally have her vote, but he got it with his brilliant answers. So apparently, he earned her vote by repeating, "I am very strategic, and I am very tricky, and I play very hard, and I do the dirty work, and have I mentioned I am very strategic?" Erik votes for Amanda, saying he thinks she played the best game, and he can relate to her "struggle" over remaining honest. So there's one vote she got partly because she played up how hard it was. Denise votes for Courtney because she "always tried to tell [Denise] the truth." Urgh. Nobody else's vote is shown.

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Survivor

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