A Tale Of Two Cities

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
A Whole Lot of Fakin' Goin' On

Peachy coaches, "It's as good as yours. Nobody [sic] close!" as Sean cracks open his key-filled coconut and unlocks the trunk to retrieve the slingshot. He then totally nails the tile over his tiki on the very first shot.

So Sean wins, and he's excited and jumping up and down, and I'm there with him until he starts screaming, "God is so good! God is good! God!" and "I can do all things through Christ, baby! I can do all things through Christ! Jesus Christ!" and then throws himself down on the beach yelling, "God! God!" And I understand gratitude and all, but I'm just asking for a degree of restraint. Like, if his mother gave him the car, would he be running around yelling, "Mom is good! Mom is good! Mom!" ["Plus, seriously, I like to think God has better things to do with His infinite power than win people cars on reality shows." -- Wing Chun] Peachy says again that no one was even close to Sean, and then randomly slams him: "You know what? You may not look good, but you're gonna look good in that ride!" Sean's too tired to haul off and hit him for being rude, and then Vecepia comes over to congratulate Sean: "Give me some love, brother!" But not too much love, I hope, being a Leander fan and all. I mean, Vecepia's a Leander fan, but I'm a Leander fan, too. I wish Leander would come to Baltimore and hug me. But only if he hasn't read these recaps. Anyway, Vecepia seems really happy for Sean, and then suddenly they're all on the boat and swarming around the car and someone -- oddly enough, not Sean -- says, "Get your hands off it!" As they all look the car over enthusiastically, Neleh says, "And it's an automatic, too! Wow!" because they don't have those in Utah. Sean gets into the Saturn, prompting Kathy to tell Sean how good he looks. What's with that, anyway? So the S5 stand around looking proud and happy and Sean gives them the thumbs-up, and then turns around and gives the camera thumbs-up, too. I give Sean the thumbs-up back.

As the tribe returns to camp, Sean has his arm wrapped around Kathy, and Neleh wants to join in, even though she can't stand Sean. Paschal thinks Sean's students are going to be really proud of him. If Paschal had students, I don't think they'd be very proud of him, based on what he says in a few minutes. Sean can't believe he won such a great new car, and with no car payments to boot. I'm not sure if would really qualify as "winning" a car, if you had to make payments on it, but whatever. He's blessed, and he can't ask for anything better. He tells us that winning the challenge and overcoming his fatigue was as much a part of the victory, and then insists that the win was for all city kids, as well as "for everybody who feels like they can look at me and feel represented, this was for them," and who is he, Halle Berry? Vecepia hugs Sean and says, "You're Harlem, brother! Came up in here runnin' things!"

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