Bryant asks whether anyone in the group didn't have or try for an alliance. Clarence raises his hand and looks really proud of himself for not having been smart enough to get into alliance, but he's kind of ducking, too. Jessie also has her hand raised, and Bryant calls on her because she's pretty. Not that Clarence isn't pretty, but not in the same way. Jessie claims that she never watched Survivor before being on the show, so she was "totally unprepared." Not to mention totally stupid. Bryant "In the Language of Love I'm Fluent" Gumbel dismisses her: "Six days, adios!" Clarence says it was a funny situation, "'cause after [he] stole that food, just nobody liked [him] for a little while." Hee. Bryant now offers to make all of them disappear for a little while, but assures us they'll come back to discuss the "hardships of Africa." It should be a nice, short discussion anyway.
In New York City, Ethan's friends cheer him on every Thursday. Ethan sits up briefly to wave at them, then resumes his slump.
In her audition tape, Lindsey rides her bike naked and repeats, "I think I can, I think I can, I know I can! Whew-hoo!" She says she can do "this Survivor stuff," and that we want her to be on Survivor. Except we didn't. And don't. Both front and back views are pixelated, and she has a muddy-looking flower drawn between her breasts but not covering them. Bryant "Pitching a Tent" Gumbel says they watched "the original" (meaning the unpixelated version?) upstairs. He wants to know, "What were you thinking?" A man in the audience looks very uncomfortable as he stands with his arms crossed. At first I think this is Lindsey's disapproving father, but later I realize it's B.B. from Pulau Tiga, who's just disapproving in general. Lindsey insists that she was painted and then snipes, "What? Are you asking why I did it?" She says she had no idea how to get on the show because she'd never really watched it and didn't know what the audition tapes were like. Her friends thought she should show her "athletic endeavors," but "athletic endeavors" aren't exactly the words I'd use to describe what was just exhibited. In any case, Lindsey says she made a tape of herself snowboarding and mountain biking, but three days before the due date she realized it was lame. So instead, a friend who insisted that Lindsey needed to stand out, body-painted her.
Bryant wants to know if it's fair to say that Africa was harder than Lindsey expected. The S16 agree that it was, and Lindsey says that as an athlete, she regularly competes in a tough sports, but nothing could have prepared her for the Survivor experience. Bryant reads back a quote of Lex Loser's in which he said, "Not a single one of us came here thinking the danger was gonna be real." Lex Loser remembers telling his friends before he left that Survivor was "reality TV": "Half of it's reality; half of it's TV." He says the Survivors were "universally shocked" to discover that the animal dangers in Africa were completely real. He'd expected the challenges to be "like little Olympic games or whatever," and then cites the boulder-rolling challenge as an example. He says the boulder was so heavy that he thought if he fell and it rolled over his head, he'd be crushed "like a walnut." A clip shows Kimj and Kelly being rolled over with absolutely no result. Lex Loser says that at that point, he realized they could die out there. He says the game was "brutally hard," and the first thing he told his friends when he got home was how much harder Survivor is than it appears on television. As a fan, he used to think the game was hard, but also "just television," and once again he insists, "It's hard!" Lex Loser said the word "hard" about fifteen times in that segment. Bryant then remembers when Kimp cried because of the proximity of the lions outside their boma. She insists that she could see them -- their eyes and "their breath." Bryant points out that most people believe that if the lion had really gotten near the fence, a "Mark Burnett rocket" would have taken the animal out. Kimp says that Mark Burnett was sleeping very soundly that night, and insists that the lion was three feet away. She tells Bryant, "It was Ethan and I, the picket fence, and the lion, and that's for real." She doesn't know what would have happened if the lion had tried to jump the boma, but then "of course, Big Tom to the rescue." Big Tom looks proud as Bryant repeats, "Always Big Tom to the rescue!"