Survivor

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History Repeats Itself

The tribe arrives at the Immunity Challenge. Probst takes the immunity idol away and replaces it with the individual immunity necklace. It isn't covered in pointy objects this season, so that's good. Probst explains the challenge: it's a game of Survivor T-Ball. Oh, don't be the guy who hits the T instead of the ball, thereby causing the ball to pop way up in the air but go nowhere. That's always embarrassing. Probst says each player will put a ball on the tee and hit it onto a field divided into sections worth different amounts of points. Whoever gets the most points wins immunity. But wait, there's more!!! That's right, Probst doesn't have one immunity necklace hanging out on that post but two! That means two people can win immunity -- one woman and one man. I think I like this twist, although not necessarily for this particular challenge, which doesn't seem to favor one sex over the other.

Dave Ball is up first, and someone actually calls him "Danger Dave." Probst follows suit. Stop calling him that! It's ridiculous. He asks if baseball is Dave Ball's sport. "Making love is my sport," he says. Everyone laughs at this, including Probst, who asks if Dave Ball plays his sport a lot. "Not often enough," Dave Ball says. We can't all land the hot ex-contestant until she gets tired of us and moves on, Probst. With that, Dave Ball hits the ball into the 3-point zone. Jaison gets a solid hit -- too solid, actually. It overshoots the field and gets him no points. Foa Foa continues to suck and suck hard. Li'l Russell is up next, and he gets 4 points, putting him in the lead. That means someone has to get a 5 or the elusive flying 10 point net to beat him. You can't tie him? Brett appears to come close to the 10 point net, but misses and overshoots the field for 0 points. Mick gets just 2 points. They can't do this more than once? It seems like such a waste of a well-made field to have each contestant get only one chance to hit. Erik says he's going for 10. He misses way right and lands off the field for 0 points. Loser. John is the final man up. He hits and it lands (suspense as the camera man cleverly takes forever to pan to it)... in the 5! Hooray!! John wins and not Li'l Russell!

Now it's the women's turn. Natalie goes first. She hits it way right and nowhere near the field for 0 points. And that means Foa Foa has no chance to win immunity this week. Or ever, let's face it. Monica manages to get 2 points. Kelly immediately beats her with 3. And then it's Shambo's turn. "Let's go Sham," a woman says (I think it was Natalie). It turns out I was right about Shambo's softball skills, as her hit is terrible and the ball doesn't make it onto the course. It was even worse than Natalie. "Outstanding," Shambo says sarcastically. Or maybe she really thought that hit was outstanding. You never know with her. Laura is the last woman to go. She puts her serious challenge face on and hits the ball hard, landing in the 4 zone. Ha!! Li'l Russell's plans are ruined! Ha ha ha! HAA!! Suck it, Li'l Russell! Probst places the necklaces on the winners' necks and only then does it occur to him to ask what their new tribe name is. He so does not care. By the way, now that I've gotten a closer look at the immunity necklaces, the one around John's neck is covered in pointy objects after all -- shark teeth. So dangerous! On the way out, Shambo interviews that Laura's win gave her "a gut-wrenching feeling," because now the plan to vote Laura out is off.

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Survivor

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