Amazon Redux

Episode Report Card
Joanna: C- | Grade It Now!
Mostly-Seen-Before Footage

The next immunity challenge, according to Peachy's voice-over, was the first "mental" competition. We see a quick shot of a ladder resting against a hut, as Peachy asks, "How many rungs are on the outside ladder?" Hee. If you already know that it was a memory test from seeing the episode when it aired, it would appear that Peachy's definition of "mental" includes the ability to count to six, which Rob did successfully while Deena did not. So the men did some shrieking and jumping around of their own.

The women headed off to their first Tribal Council, where Janet looked like Susan Sarandon before becoming the second person voted out of the Amazon. In a post-boot interview, in which Janet looks like Rue McClanahan, she explains that they'd gone six hard days without drinking because they had trouble boiling the water. They had trouble boiling water? Imagine if they had to boil an egg! Janet claims that the younger members of the tribe were "droppin' like flies," which caused her to question how much more she could take. Who, besides Shawna, was "droppin' like flies," anyway? In closing, Janet insists that her Survivor experience was "a mid-life crisis gone extremely wrong," and then cracks herself up over it.

That night, we learn that the women couldn't sleep "as the Amazon came alive." In new footage, Jeanne complains about the increased noises near their food. A bleary-eyed HeiDDi wakes needing to pee, and she's creeped out by the sounds. Jeanne suggests that the animals are just getting used to them. I think the animals would interpret "getting used to them" as "getting used to the idea of becoming better acquainted in a digestive sort of way." A machete-wielding Jeanne offers to accompany HeiDDi, and I'm surprised Deena didn't tag along too, as excited as she is by the communal peeing. As they walk away from camp, we see a quick shot of a fox-like animal scurrying up a tree branch, followed by an alligator thrashing in the water. HeiDDi suddenly jumps out at something, and I'm not sure if she's kidding or if she's really trying to scare away an animal with her gigantic bosoms. Jeanne points out a "raven over thah [sic]!" before HeiDDi tells us in an interview that bats started dive-bombing them. They ran away in an effort to escape the bat attack, but ended up with "these set[s] of glowing eyes just staring at us." Jeanne questions whether HeiDDi really wants to go down or if she can just "hold it." Jeanne urges, "Come down here and I'll dig a hole." In other words, this entire segment has been about HeiDDi needing to take a shit.

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