Amazon Redux

Episode Report Card
Joanna: C- | Grade It Now!
Mostly-Seen-Before Footage

On Day 7, Roger asked Daniel to fetch some water; Daniel refused, so Roger did it himself. It made him "hot," and he wanted to "slap the kid around." Daniel complained that Roger was "unfriendly" while "barking" his orders, and that they're not speaking right now. Humph!

The members of Jaburu apparently didn't mind being barked at, though, and so Jeanne "initiate[d] Deena" as leader of the tribe. So she, like, made her drive her drunk ass around Buffalo and paint bricks and soak tampons in tuna juice and throw them at the other tribe? In any case, Deena complained that being the tribe's appointed leader put a "big target on [her] body" (oooh -- the legendary circling of the fat1), but that she accepted the responsibilities nevertheless.

Peachy voice-overs that Deena's leadership "sparked new life in the women's camp and they began to work in harmony." We then see new clips of the Jaburu women breaking sticks, chopping, working on the fire, pouring water, dragging branches, sharpening knives, and high-fiving each other while breaky, choppy, working-on-the-fire, branch-draggy, knife-sharpening, high-fivey music rhythmically accompanies them in time in the background. Shawna, meanwhile, is mixed into this montage every few seconds, haphazardly chopping a piece of wood to see how far and in which direction she can send it. Deena tells us that the "net effect" of their efforts is that the camp looks organized -- like someone lives there and cares about it and will take care of it. Of course, it just looks that way. She claims that a nicely turned out camp is the key to being "on par" with Tambaqui.

On Day 9, the competitors were locked in cages. Too bad they weren't left there. And I know I used that one in a past season, but it's worth saying again. The women claimed their fourth victory in five challenges, and the requisite shrieking ensued.

So Tambaqui headed back to Tribal Council and Daniel became the third person voted out. In his post-boot interview, where he -- based on what we've seen so far and what's still to come -- remarkably is not wearing two pounds of makeup, claims to be a "city slicker" who had never before been on a camping trip and would never voluntarily go on one. In other words, he was, like, drafted onto Survivor? So somewhere in Canada, there are legions of people burning the Jackée flag and gearing up to march on Mark Burnett's house? Daniel continues that he did Survivor only because he wanted to be the first Asian to win, but that was a goal he obviously didn't accomplish. As we see a clip of his exit, he quotes Bruce Lee with: "Low aim, not failure, is the crime," and then paraphrases it for us: "Sometimes even glory is to fail." Glory. Heh.

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