Survivor
Amazon Reunion

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Mother's Day Massacre

Peachy returns to the subject of HeiDDi, who he thinks "took a long, hard rap this season." He's been looking over his notes, though, and tells us that her I.Q. score was "off the charts." He reveals that she, Alex, and Roger had the highest I.Q.s of the group, and announces, "You have a higher I.Q. than the rocket scientist!" He adds, "But HeiDDi, it didn't come out on the show!" HeiDDi responds that she's glad it didn't come out, because with an accurate display of her "athleticism" and "intelligence," she wouldn't have gotten far in the game. Peachy asks if she was "strategically" fine to "play that role," and she agrees that you "have to check your pride in this game." Peachy backhands her by telling her she did a great job of it. In other words, she did a perfect job of appearing both unintelligent and unathletic.

Back from commercial, and someone in the audience holds up a drawing of a red-haired woman. Huh?

Peachy tells us that fans can go to eBay and bid on all kinds of things, including the S16's torches and all six Jenna votes. It benefits the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation, which Survivor has been working with since Africa.

Peachy then tells us that if we think we have what it takes to get on the show, "then quit talkin' about it," and go to CBS.com. Also, Jenna got her check on the next morning's Early Show, so if you like to see ignorance, selfishness, and entitlement well rewarded, I hope you tuned in.

Peachy promises us that he has only two things left to say before this season becomes just an entertaining dream with a rude awakening. He asks Rob to show his Magic 8-Ball, which he says "survived Butch's fire," and when was Butch tried for that crime, anyway? Rob holds up the bungled and charred 8-Ball -- more of about a Magic 4.5-Ball at this point -- and says it may be worse for the wear, but that it still works.

Peachy thinks it would be good to end on a nice moment, revealing that all six votes were really for Matthew, and Happy April Fool's Day a month and a half late! Sadly, that's not the ending we get. Instead, Dan and Roger shrug and agree to hug each other. They then victoriously pump their first in the air.

So that's all, and once again Peachy proclaims, "Happy Mother's Day!" And we're done. That's all for the Amazon and the sixth season of Survivor. Say farewell to Jenna until you see her in Playboy, HeiDDi until you see her in Hustler, Rob until you see him pitching asthma medicine on a 10:00 AM commercial, and Matthew until you see him in the headlines.

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Survivor

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