MONDO EXTRAS

Anyway, now Jeff runs down the hot women "nominees," once again delusionally suggesting that we nominated them, which we didn't. Heidi, Jenna M. (both bathing), Colleen ("first cutie"), Elisabeth, Jerri ("sexy villain"), Implant Sarah, Alicia, Erin's ass, Darrah, and -- of course -- Million-Dollar Amber. And who's the winner? It's Million-Dollar Amber. ["Because the one thing that makes hot girls even hotter is when they're rich!" -- Wing Chun] Jeff asks Boston Rob how he feels about Amber having a million dollars and also being the hottest. Jeff starts to say, "She's yours, is there any --" and Rob cuts him off, laughing, "She's mine, you just got it right there." He really does seem to have, at least on the surface, not a hint of jealousy about all this, which is kind of nice. "That's right, you're the one who won," Jeff says. "That's right," Rob agrees, and the audience gives him the "awww."

Jeff reviews the voting, the two they've already added, blah dee blah. And now it's time to add a third person to the final four. There is some very amusing eye-rolling going on in the back row between Sue and Jenna M. when they figure out that Jeff is talking about Rupert, as they knew was inevitable. And as, of course, he is. Rupert gets up and takes his place in the front row. Roar Count: Three, before he even settles. Jeff throws a shot of his hometown party up on the screen, and Rupert roars again. (Roar Count: Four.) Jeff shows us a Rupert montage, and I am reminded how I went from moderately liking him to despising him to my very core. Oh, and I am also reminded of how much he needed to be wearing underwear when they achieved fire, and wasn't. After the montage, the Roar Count is pumped up to five. Jeff asks Rupert about his whole "never surrender" motto, and Rupert claims that this is something he always tells all those troubled youths he's always mentoring. As the bastion of maturity that he is, you know. "You do what you say, you say what you do," he says. He left off the part of the motto where it's also okay to do something and then attack other people for doing exactly the same thing. But that's kind of long, and it doesn't fit that well into a motto. Jeff congratulates Rupert on the extremely shocking fact that he's in the final four. Jeff promises that we'll soon learn the identity of the last finalist, not that it matters.

We get another "great" moment, which is Fairplay's dead grandma. Are these "great" moments? Because they all kind of made me want to stop watching the show.