America's Tribal Council (a.k.a. More With The All-Stars)

Episode Report Card
A Million To Whine

Jeff says that he has one more thing to bring up, which he calls "the last sensitive topic." Apparently, Jerri has remarked somewhere, and it has gotten back to Jeff, that the only reason she and some others were at the finale and are at this event is because of contractual obligations. Thus, Jeff would like to say they are all free to go if they don't want to be there: "If there's anyone who does not want to be here, we don't want you to be here." Furthermore, he says, if you win the million dollars after you leave, you'll still get your check. "Here's your chance to go if you want to go," he says. "Otherwise, I don't want to hear about it anymore." Jeff, I may kiss you. Seriously. Prepare yourself. Audience: "Wooooo!" Jerri's jaw: "[Lock.]" Pretty much everyone besides Jerri applauds, and unsurprisingly, no one leaves. Because the last thing Jerri wants is to leave quietly and have people stop paying attention to her. She'd have to find another show to go on then. Jeff comments that everyone is staying, and says that we're going to reveal the first person who's in the final four.

Creepy music plays, and Jeff says that he'll give clues. In this person's season, the person "dominated in the challenges." Several people, particularly Sue, seem very excited at the prospect of who they think it is. This person played the way he lives, and "some would say that approach cost him a million dollars." Jeff pulls a paper from an urn, and reveals the name of...Colby, of course. Colby -- who looks even lovelier than usual, which hardly seems possible -- gets a big hug from Tina above him. We peek in on a Dallas party at the Hard Rock Café, where everyone is holding up "Vote 4 Colby" signs. Boy, they really are aping American Idol here, aren't they? Colby walks down to the front of the group and perches on one of four stools. And then there's a montage of Colby's awesomeness. Which mostly makes me think about how cute he is, even though I do also enjoy his personality. (No, I do!) Fortunately, they don't show the moments this season when he was kind of dicky, and I appreciate that, because I'm exhausted enough without trying to work up the energy for cognitive dissonance. When we return from the montage, the crowd is still cheering for Colby. Jeff asks Colby about how "ethics" worked against him when he played, and asks whether it might work for him this time. Colby claims not to have thought about it, saying that you can't control how people perceive you, which is one of the reasons he doesn't worry about his decision with Tina. He says that if you make a decision that you know is right for you, you don't worry about how other people perceive you. I loved that comment, and I agree with it utterly. And also, nice teeth. He smiles and says that in a way, this is an even bigger prize than the regular million, because you don't have to suffer six weeks of hell to get it. And also, I guess, it's more trashy because it doesn't imply that you have merit -- only that you have appeal.

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