Survivor
Anger, Threats, Tears…And Coffee

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A Grown-Ass Man Saves His Grown Ass

There is a whole little segment of moth-spiderweb imagery here that is a little heavy-handed, but still pretty funny. Because...yeah, webs are sticky. Don't get eaten. This message brought to you by Folgers coffee. No, not really. John sits around at camp, and Chris tells him that he's not sure where Chad is going at tribal council. John tells us that he has to trust one person, and that he has chosen Chris. That would be the same Chris who was recently shit-talking how much John eats. Hee hee. There's a strong ally for you. John thinks that he and Chris "could really do some damage." Mostly Chris. And mostly to John's ability to stay in the game. Interestingly, Chris asks John whom he would vote to get rid of, and John puts up Chad. Probably a mistake, as it washes away any idea in Chris's mind that John is down with the boys and would make a good member of a male alliance. John argues that Chad will get "the sympathy vote" with the foot, and he repeats it in an interview. And you know...it's true. It's gross, but it's true. If I were John, I'd be thinking the same thing. I don't know if I'd say it or try to act on it, but you bet I'd be sitting there thinking, "Let's see, preening pretty boy versus really nice guy with one foot. Mm-hmm, that'll be a close vote." Although it's not just the sympathy factor -- it's also because John sucks and Chad is cool and likable, which John probably knows.

John then has a chat with Twila and Julie, in which he tells them of his plan to get rid of Chad. (My favorite part is where Julie is so laden down with wood that she can barely walk, and Twila's like, "Yeah, go on, I'll fill you in later." At which point Julie totters off, about to fall down dead, and the shot actually looks like it might be from a Christopher Guest film or an episode of Arrested Development.) The dumb thing about this discussion is that John is offering them Chad instead of one of them, but he hasn't offered them a reason for Chad instead of him. I mean, if John really believes it's him going, then Twila and Julie probably know that or will know that, so they won't need to vote against Chad to protect themselves, and John doesn't seem to be making much of a case as to why it would be in their interests to go with him instead of Sarge and Company. Twila and Julie talk like they might be willing to go along with the Chad boot, which John says would be accomplished through an alliance of the two women with him and Chris. John interviews that he takes Twila at her word, owing to the fact that she's "a rough redneck," and "all rough rednecks that [he has] met are pretty loyal." And also, they wear trucker hats, chew straw, and loooove a tractor pull. Shut up, John.

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