Survivor
Anger, Threats, Tears…And Coffee

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A Grown-Ass Man Saves His Grown Ass

And in this commercial break, you learn that if you don't vote for Bush, the United States of America will be eaten by wolves. And you thought there was no subtlety left in politics.

At Lopevi on Day 18, it's time to read treemail. Today's treemail came with a slingshot with which they have to practice, because they'll all need to shoot at the challenge later. Unsurprisingly, Sarge gives a little lecture to everyone about how to hold the slingshot. Shut up, Sarge. He then tells us that there simply isn't any question that Lopevi will win this challenge, what with its being a boys' game and everything. But honestly, how many guys who are in their twenties and thirties played with...slingshots? I mean...I just don't think that's been common in my lifetime. Maybe the guys would have an obvious advantage if it were Nintendo. Or emotional obfuscation. Sarge says that Yasur "is like a high-school team against an SEC team." I guess that would make it doubly humiliating if the SEC team lost, right? Yeah. "They're going to give us a run for our money, but they won't win," Sarge declares. Laboring under the curse of the whammy Sarge is endeavoring to place upon them, the members of Lopevi practice slingshotting. John tries a shot, and says that he's been a target and a "threat" all along, so he figures that, at this point, they need to win the immunity challenge, or he's toast. He doesn't seem to be aware that he might have been able to stop this from happening if he hadn't become a complete slacker after the team mixup, but there you go. I mean, the Sarge group needs to do something before the merge, and they might have been willing to make John part of it if they didn't kind of hate him. But, whatever. He fires the slingshot. Dramatic!

Over at Yasur, Rory is "amusing" the team with a pro-wrestling-style bit of patter before they practice with the slingshot. He tells us he feels great, and is at "high rev." Partly because of all the caffeine. By Folgers! From the Home Café™! Because when it comes to your corporate sponsors, the best part of sucking up is Folgers in your cup. Rory shows the women how to use the slingshot, and explains in an interview that he knows he's going if they don't win, so the challenge is critical for him.

The teams head to the challenge beach. Jeff takes back the big pointy immunity stick and declares that immunity is available once again. He also tells them that he sure hopes they practiced with the slingshot, because it's time to show their stuff. He explains that each tribe member will shoot at a vertical grid of tiles that are suspended with wires within a wooden frame. The frame corresponds to...man, this is hard to explain. The point is that you take shots at tiles, and depending on which ones you shoot, you gradually not only get closer to being finished, but you knock out members of your own tribe from shooting. Just trust me. So ideally, you would concentrate not only on getting tiles, but on not knocking out the people on your team who are good shooters, although it looks like that would probably require more precision than any of these people is likely to have.

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Survivor

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