As soon as Li'l Russell is out of earshot, Sandra stops pretending to be asleep and turns to Parvati. "He's so full of it," Parvati says. "He don't know what it's like to be up against two chicks," Sandra laughs. Fistbump! I love how Li'l Russell thinks he's striking fear into their hearts with his ominous words about what he'll say about them at Tribal Council, and they just think it's funny. And that's when Sandra sees that Li'l Russell walked away and left his hat behind. "I'm gonna burn his hat," she says. Parvati loves it and dares her to do it. They're both giggling. I think they might have had a little too much champagne in their mimosas. Sandra mutters something about Li'l Russell and his "bald-headed ass" having to go to Tribal Council and grabs the hat. As she approaches the fire, she asks Parvati if she'll tell on her. Parvati says no way. Not like that would stop Sandra anyway. She tosses the hat in the fire and calmly walks away. "That's how much game I got," she says. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" says Parvati and me and the rest of us who hate what Li'l Russell and the producers who couldn't get enough of him did to this show for the last two seasons. Sandra isn't done yet, though! She interviews: "Russell is obnoxious. So I took his hat and I threw it in the fire. I don't care. He can take his bald-headed tail to Tribal Council, it'll be all right. He can wear his buff on his head. He has a big bald patch right here he doesn't want anybody to know about. But we've been here for 39 days, I've seen it a whoooooole ton of times. Screw it. That's payback for everything he's done to me in this game. I don't care." And as much as I love Sandra, I would probably criticize her for what she just did were it not for the fact that Li'l Russell did this exact same thing to Jaison's socks and called it "gameplay" and thought he was the greatest player this game had ever seen because of it. It is absolutely delicious to watch the tables get turned on him. I'll bet Jaison is watching this right now and starting, like, ten Sandra fan clubs on Facebook. If, that is, he actually watched Survivor. Which I don't think he does. I hope he'll make an exception for this clip, and save it on his phone so he can watch it over and over and over again wherever he goes.
And now, the payoff. Li'l Russell returns to camp and looks for his hat. "Have y'all seen my hat?" he asks. "No," Sandra says; "did you pack it?" "I thought I left it there," Li'l Russell says. "Oh," Sandra shrugs. Parvati just lies on the tarp and enjoys it. Sandra interviews that all Li'l Russell wants out of this game is the title of "Sole Survivor," so that's what she is going to make sure he doesn't get. Back on the beach, Li'l Russell is still looking for his hat and threatening not to go to Tribal until he finds it. Sandra says they have to leave soon, then looks directly at the camera conspiratorially. Tee hee hee. She says she spent every day of this game trying to get rid of Li'l Russell. If only that were true and if only some of the others felt the same way, we could have been rid of this guy months ago. Sigh. Also, do we REALLY have to devote the pre-Final Tribal speeches to Li'l Russell? Like, could we hear from Sandra about things other than Li'l Russell? Or hear from Parvati at all other than that one sentence? This is pathetic. Parvati lights the shelter on fire as Sandra interviews that the Heroes she tried to align with to get rid of Li'l Russell screwed themselves over by siding with him instead, and she had to work and scheme every day to make sure that she left Tribal Council still in the game, because she didn't have an immunity necklace to hide behind. "I never had safety. I had to take care of myself," she says. Well, except for last week when she had the hidden idol to play, not like she needed it. "And yet, here I sit. Final Three. I think I deserve it. I want the title of Sole Survivor," she says. Once again, we've heard so much from Sandra and so little from Parvati and even Li'l Russell that how could she not win? With that, they set off for Tribal Council, Li'l Russell forced to wear his buff to cover his baldness.