Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 5 USERS: A+
Simple As That

The Final Three arrive at the Final Tribal Council. I'm just so happy. In just under a half-hour (well, an hour and a half including the reunion), I will be free of Li'l Russell until the next all-star season! The jury walks in. Coach puts his hands together and bows at the Final Three, because he's faux-spiritual like that. Rupert is wearing his formal tie-dye tank top for this special occasion. And Jerri's bra is showing and she's wearing too much makeup. Probst tells Sandra to make her opening speech first. She tells the jury that she's had to scramble in this game since her Villain alliance fell apart and that, after the merge, she tried three different times to get rid of Li'l Russell and help the Heroes. Everything she did in this game, she says, was to keep herself in it. "And I did that by myself," she concludes, showing Probst that she is finished speaking by glaring at him. Li'l Russell is next. He says that some people say this is a game of luck, but not in his case. He played it really hard and doesn't understand why people in jury are looking like him "like [he] did something wrong." Candice smirks, as she knows that Li'l Russell has no concept of human emotions, or, at least, the emotions of humans other than Li'l Russell. Rupert rolls his eyes. Li'l Russell says he apologizes if he offended anyone, but that's how he played the game. Parvati flatters the jury first by saying she knew she'd be playing with 20 all-stars but didn't realize that everyone would perceive her as a threat. With so many people gunning for her, she says, she had to "put a line of defense together," and she did that by making Li'l Russell her "dragon." Cut to Coach, who shakes his head disapprovingly at her use of his silly terms. That, or he knows that Li'l Russell will never be a true dragon, by which I of course mean a member of the GREATEST BAND ever to hit the music scene, THE DRAGONZ. If they don't play during the reunion show, by the way, then something is very, very wrong. Parvati continues that instead of slaying her dragon, she "kept him as [her] pet." Candice enjoys this. Li'l Russell does not. Colby smiles for, like, the first time all season. "He displayed his loyalty to me and only to me," she says. Ouch. Damn, Parvati can be a cold-hearted bitch, can't she? It's why she's so good at this! She concludes that she thinks she played the ultimate social, strategic and physical game this season.

And now, it's time for the jury to ask their questions. Colby goes first. He asks Li'l Russell if he's serious that luck didn't play a part in how he got this far. Colby is almost trying to help Li'l Russell out here, I think, and give him a chance to act humble and gracious like the jury wants him to, but Li'l Russell won't do that. Instead, he says that yes, luck played no part in his game and it was all his "strategic play." I don't understand how "strategic play" gets you 7 hidden immunity idols or destroys James's knee, but whatever. "You are delusional if you think you can make it all the way to the end of this game without any luck," Colby says, then moves on to Parvati, asking her what she did to keep herself in the game besides win challenges, as if that wasn't a huge part of his game in his first season. Parvati says she was targeted by everyone starting from the beginning of the game, and is sitting here at the end "against God's plan, basically." She says she knows J.T. wanted her out because he wrote it down in the note that she just cleverly reminded the jury Li'l Russell showed her, just in case any of the Heroes were considering voting for him. She points out that she made a big risky play when she gave both of her immunity idols away to keep her alliance intact, even after Amanda told her she was the target and should play the idol for herself. Not only did she protect her alliance with that move, but she also ensured Jerri and Sandra's loyalty to her. Colby apparently has nothing to say to Sandra, so he wishes them luck and sits down.

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