Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Simple As That

The contestants return to camp. Parvati immediately interviews that her victory today was a big deal because it keeps her in the game and means the last Hero will definitely be leaving tonight. Colby rounds the group up for a Very Important Announcement. Much like the last time when he thought he had no hope to stay in this game, he's going to give up and not bother to scramble to try to stay in it so he can enjoy his last day. Li'l Russell walks up and shakes his hand immediately, no doubt assuming that Colby is one more jury vote for him. Colby hugs the girls (even Jerri!) and then interviews that he gave "the girls" his "surrender" speech, and it was a "pretty good speech, actually. Hell, I almost convinced myself I was giving up." Really? Is he serious with this? Hasn't he already given up? He says he won't quit since it's "not in" him to quit and he's "never" quit anything in his life. Yeah, except this game, like, three times already this season. And then there's this long, long, long pause where Colby looks down and scrunches up his lips and I thought maybe he was about to cry, but then he finally continues speaking like five hours later with "so when the time was right ... " and pauses again, then: "I made one more attempt." What was that about? Did he bore himself to sleep?

Colby approaches Li'l Russell and asks if he's planning to vote him out tonight. Li'l Russell says he is, and then hopes to vote out Parvati and take Sandra and Jerri to the end. Colby's argument for why Li'l Russell should keep him over anyone else is that if they vote Sandra out now, they'll have a better chance at beating Parvati in the next immunity challenge and ensuring that she is sent home before the finale. Oh, my god. First of all, how is Colby stronger at challenges than Sandra? I'm pretty sure she's done better than him in quite a few of them this season. Also, even if Colby was better at challenges, wouldn't Li'l Russell definitely NOT want to keep him in the game for fear that he'd win immunity next and be in the Final Three and get all the Heroes' votes? Colby says Parvati is sure to get "a ton of votes" in the Final Three. Li'l Russell interviews that it may well be a better strategic move to vote Sandra out instead of Colby. Yeah, in OPPOSITE LAND perhaps. He claims he doesn't know what to do and who to vote for as they head out to Tribal Council, but that's bullshit.

Tribal Council begins. The jury enters, and of course, Rupert has a nice, clean tie-dye shirt. Wouldn't it be awesome if he shaved his beard, got a nice haircut, and wore, like, a suit to Tribal? But no, he's the same old Rupert, and glaring away at everyone left in the game. Probst talks to Colby first, asking if the third time he played this game was the toughest. Colby says it was, because he sucked in challenges and still couldn't beat Parvati for immunity when he needed it the most. Probst says the Villains could stick together against Colby tonight or make a "big move" and keep him to vote out one of their own. "Yeah, there's hope," Colby says, claiming he has been "hustling" at camp. Sandra frowns, both because she has no idea what Colby is talking about and also because that's her default expression. Colby calls Li'l Russell out, saying he tried to convince him to keep Colby and vote out Sandra. "That's a tough sell," Colby admits. Sandra doesn't react, so not threatened is she by this. Colby says that if only Sandra had won immunity instead of Parvati, he could have made a much better case to get rid of Parvati, because everyone is afraid to face her in the finals, while everyone wants to sit next to Sandra. And yet, he's trying to convince Li'l Russell to vote Sandra out? Okay, moron. Sandra, meanwhile, finally speaks up, saying "That's news to me" and that she now regrets putting all that effort into packing her things for tonight, since she is apparently a shoo-in to make it to the finals. She then condescendingly pats Colby on the knee and says, "Say what you gotta say."

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Survivor

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