Survivor

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Sara M: A- | 5 USERS: A+
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Simple As That

Speaking of people I never want to see again, there's James. Jerri gives him credit for competing even after he hurt his knee. "When the big guys fall, they fall hard," Parvati just says. Yeah, and when the big guys get a little cut on their finger or aren't able to land on their feet when they jump, they are useless on this show. James claims that he was trying to be more friendly this time around, so I guess screaming your head off at a woman to shut up and stealing your team's banana food supply count as friendly gestures when you're a gravedigger. Eighth is Rob. Li'l Russell is a dick about him, as usual, saying that Rob didn't know who he was messing with. "Leave him alone," Sandra says, remembering how Rob told her that they'd get along because, as an Italian and a Puerto Rican, they were both "loud and ignorant" and she loved him forever after. Rob gives the "new generation" of players credit for being "smarter" (or "smahtah"), as evidenced by the fact that they voted him out. Even though it was actually one of the old generation of players who made that happen. Ninth is Jerri's onetruelove, Coach. Parvati calls him "Benjy." Hee hee hee. And then everyone teases Jerri about him. She bows to Coach and "pays homage" to him, which I'm sure he'll appreciate. "Namaste," Parvati says. Coach says he is "Number 1" in all the contestants on this show people have loved to hate or hated to love or even hated to hate. Sorry, Coach, but that's not true for me anymore! And if you do another one of those amazing DRAGONZ music videos with Courtney and J.T., I might even like to like you. And then he goes off into nonsense land talking about how he inspired others and made them great while at the same time becoming a better man himself, as if Coach thinks it's even possible to be better than he already thinks he is. "I found redemption," he concludes. Yes, he did. In a cheesy yet awesome music video, he absolutely did.

Tenth is Courtney. Parvati calls her "little one." Sandra says she misses her. Me too. Courtney, I feel like our time together was too short. Please, come back to my TV screen somehow. You and Eliza can do a show together where you react awesomely to, like, everything. Oh man, you know what they should do? CourtTV (or TruTV or whatever it's called now) should totally have them do commentating during the live court footage. They could sit in the jury box and be amazing, just like old times! Courtney says she feels like she did the best she could, and she's proud to make it to the jury on an all-star season. Eleventh is J.T. Of course, Li'l Russell must remind us all about how J.T. ruined the game for his tribe. Sandra just says J.T. was the second winner to be voted out. J.T. says he made a big move that ultimately got him voted out with his own idol, which was "beautiful." Next is Amanda. Parvati reminds us that it was only in her third go-round on this show that she was voted out for the first time. Amanda claims that she's proud of how she played this game but regrets giving Danielle that clue back. And there's a shot of the catfight again, and Colby was amazingly oblivious of that whole thing. He isn't even looking at them! "I'm just not destined to win this game," she sighs.

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Survivor

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