Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 5 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Simple As That

Candice is next, and Sandra is fierce with her, saying she hopes those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she left the immunity challenge for were worth losing the game. Meanwhile, Sandra stepped down well before Candice did, and for cookies. Of course, the first shot we see of Candice is of her eating that sandwich, and she says that even though she finished in the same spot as she did in her first season, this one meant more because of who she played against. Danielle is fourteenth. Parvati says she misses her and Jerri apologizes for voting her out. Li'l Russell lets everyone know that he is definitely not sorry. Meanwhile, he knows that one person standing there is about to be voted out and will walk right on back to the Loser's Lodge where she can tell everyone what he just said, especially Danielle. Good social game, asshole. Danielle thinks she proved in this game that she's a good person with a heart and not a villain. Even though she was on the Villain tribe. And got in a catfight with Amanda. And if you don't want people to think you're an asshole, don't go on this show in the first place.

Rupert is next. Parvati makes fun of him and his pirate obsession. Sandra tries to do it too, saying "Arrrg, me toe!" but it's not as good as Parvati's. Also, she immediately turns sincere (I think) and says she hopes his toe gets better. I hope it does, too, so he can shut up about it. Rupert thinks he played the game really well and deserves his stupid meaningless hero title. Finally, we get to Colby. Li'l Russell calls him "the real true Hero of them all." Yeah, because he didn't do anything that could be labeled evil because HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AT ALL. Colby reminds us how bad he was at the challenges but says at least he outlasted his entire tribe. And then, they actually made a big wooden man on the beach. They stick all the name tokens in its mouth and set it on fire. And then they all stare at it while stupid epic music plays.

Finally, it's time for the last immunity challenge. The contestants arrive outside a giant maze. This challenge was taken from the Amazon season, but it's not that one where they had to rip meat off a hook with just their teeth. Too bad. Sandra pays close attention to Probst's explanation as if she has a chance at winning this thing, and the players get their blindfolds on and get going. They immediately run into each other and, in Parvati's case, a waist-high wall. All four contestants head for the closest necklace box, no doubt having memorized its location before they had to put blindfolds on. Li'l Russell and Jerri get their first necklaces quickly, followed by Parvati. Sandra, meanwhile, can't find the box despite being like two feet away from it. Oops. Instead, she happens upon Parvati and grabs her face. "OW!" Parvati squeals. Undaunted, Sandra totally grabs for her necklace, trying to untie it from around her neck to take it for herself. "Sandra! That's me!" Parvati says. "Oh," Sandra shrugs, like she didn't know. Probst laughs. "Geez!" Parvati says, kind of adorably. Less adorably, Li'l Russell approaches the second necklace box. Sandra finally finds her first necklace and is, of course, pissed off that she didn't get it sooner. Li'l Russell gets his second necklace. Jerri and Parvati both stumble upon their second boxes and get their next necklaces. Parvati celebrates by nailing her hip on another wall. And then another one. "Parvati banging into all kinds of dead ends!" Probst calls out. "It HURTS," Parvati whines. Meanwhile, Jerri manages to get her third necklace without injuring herself.

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Survivor

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