Survivor
Arranging A Hit

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Sweet Johnny Blue-Eyes

The tribe walks out onto a challenge beach, Parvati's thumb wrapped thickly with a bandage. Jeff pretends not to know what happened to her, so she has to explain again that she injured herself trying to chop a coconut. So we're now about six or seven minutes into the meat of the show, and the fact that Parvati cut her finger while trying to chop a coconut has been explained to us about four times. Jeff asks if she's allowed to get it wet, and she says that she can get it somewhat wet. Jeff says that this challenge will require her to get it wet. You will, in this challenge, scoop water up with a pail, run back, and pour it into a bigger bucket. When your bucket is full, it will drop and raise a flag, and you win. Sound too easy so far? Yeah, I think so too. The challenge staff isn't quite this lame. The reward, at any rate, is going to be a trip to an island where the locals will take you to "a sacred cave." You get a picnic, of course. The winner will also send someone to Exile Island.

"One other element to this reward." Here come...the famous loved ones, from around the corner. Jonathan's wife Stacy comes running out in her pink crop pants. There always has to be somebody in crop pants, if not more than one somebody. She and Jonathan both cry, and then they hug, and they share a brief smooch that is a much better kiss than all of Adam and Candice's lip-nibbling goofiness. "Everybody okay?" Jonathan asks. "Everyone's great," says Stacy.

Parvati's dad Mike comes out, looking...every bit like he'd be Parvati's dad, in the sense that he's just kind of standing there breathing in and out, probably through his mouth. They hug.

Here comes Adam's dad, George. George looks like Adam plus thirty years and twenty pounds and a wig from the Saturday Night Live wardrobe department. They do the manly handshake-that-becomes-a-hug thing.

Becky's sister Sarah comes out next. "Yaaaay, Sarah Lee!" says Jonathan. Hee. I'm thinking that's been talked about before, that Becky has a sister Sarah, which makes her Sarah Lee, har har. Fortunately, I always truck with exactly the kind of people who think that's funny, so Jonathan is A-OK with me. Sarah hugs Becky, and Becky says. "Don't cry; you're making me cry." Becky kisses the side of her sister's head and sends her off to the Designated Family Area. ["This would be when I started crying. Every year, they get me with the loved ones!" -- Wing Chun]

Yul's brother Paul is significantly rounder of body and floppier of hair than Yul, but they still seem weirdly alike, in that they're both warm and probably not born to this game that much, because they'd rather be organizing charity events and generally breaking the curve.

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Survivor

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