MONDO EXTRAS

As the show winds down, Tina announces that she has a story to tell about Jeff. She says that when she first met him, she thought he was a "player." By "player," she means a "compassionate sweet guy," which is a different definition than mine. She says that on the night Jeff was voted off, Barramundi had caught thirteen fish and put them on a stringer in the water. When the team returned to camp, the fish were all gone, and they determined that the crocs had had a snack. She later found out that Jeff, suspecting he'd be voted off, had destroyed their dinner. The whole group erupts hearing this news; I don't even think Alicia knew, but then how did Tina find out? Jeff is really pleased with himself and Tina turns around and says, "You're evil, you're evil!" ["Everyone at Wing Manor agreed that in Jeff's place, we'd have screwed over the people who'd screwed us in exactly the same way. Jeff is such a bitch!" -- Wing Chun] And suddenly Talking Mad Dog's on her feet, playing the intro to the show's theme song on what I now know is a didgeridoo. She's pretty good, too, since I can sort of make out the tune, whereas after five years of taking violin as a child no one still had any clue what the hell I was playing.

We go to commercial looking at the partying going down in Elisabeth's hometown of Boston.

In her audition tape, Elisabeth looks typically cute. She drives her car, goes over a pothole, and giggles. Alas, we're down to our last thirty seconds and Bryant "Defiant" Gumbel asks if she's the "sweet motherly Tina" we've seen on the show, or if she's a "ruthless" competitor. She says she's in the middle, and that you "gotta have a good balance in life," which seems like a reasonably honest answer. Bryant announces that the S16 will join him the next day on The Early Show, and that Tina will then receive her check. With Jerri fiercely nodding her head behind him, Bryant says that the S16 spent their time in the Outback with "millions judging their character." He's amazed that they "survived with as much dignity as they have," and concludes the special by wondering why people even watch the show, finally determining that this sick phenomena is best left to psychologists.