Lots of people turned up in Dallas to cheer on Colby. I think I can barely make out Colby's mom and her makeup working their way through the crowd with a blush brush and some spackle.
We next get to see Mad Dog's tape: she pops out of a dumpster and says she's been in there for seven weeks, so the Outback should be nothing. She's holding a dog collar in her hand and looking at it curiously. I'm not sure if we're supposed to think she found a dog in the dumpster and ate it. Bryant then shows a pretty picture of Mad Puppy holding a coffee cup and looking like she's giving attitude. Everyone hoots and hollers and Colby yelps, "Hello, Momma!" Which might not have helped all the "conjugal" speculation. Jerri says, "Bow. Wow," which for once I don't think she meant in a mean way. Bryant "No Runt" Gumbel then asks her if she's now at fighting weight, which is one rude-ass question. She drolly says, "Yes I am, Bryant," and thinks which of her cop friends she can call up to kick his ass. Oh wait -- she can do that herself.
Debb's been pretty quiet this whole time, and Bryant tells us she wasn't sure she wanted to be part of the reunion. Debb says she knew she didn't want to be part of it. She's upset because no one got a chance to know her, and the press tore her apart. It hasn't been fun, and there's "no way" she would do it again. Bryant says, "Bad trade? Three days in the Outback for your life being exposed?" A teary Debb agrees. She says the hardest part of the situation has been that, as a strong person, she's lost some of her belief in herself. Kel rubs her back. ["I thought that was the most phony-ass thing I'd ever seen. Had they ever even met?" -- Wing Chun] Bryant says, "You've already got it back," but I don't really see how. Kel leans over and kisses Debb. She just stares at him. Rodger reaches back and shakes her hand. And even my dear sweet Rodger stabbed Debb in the back by voting her off when he'd promised her he wouldn't, so that probably wasn't much consolation to her, either. Poor Debb. A person should be able to marry her stepson in peace.
Next, Bryant "Wanna Rumble?" Gumbel asks Kel if life isn't too short not to have forgiven Jerri. He answers, "I have forgiven Jerri...but I don't like her." Everyone goes hysterical over this, but it's not nearly as funny as when Talking Rudy Doll grumped, "I don't like 'er...and I never will!" of Stayfree Stillman last season.