Survivor
Australia Reunion

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Nick says he never felt hungry after the first day, but that he felt weak and dizzy. He says that the degree of their hunger and exhaustion didn't translate on television. Jerri says that Kucha never experienced hunger the way that Ogakor did. She tells us that after she left, she watched Elisabeth and Nick suffer, and "[she] thought it was kinda funny." She giggles and then bursts into full cackle. Nick and Elisabeth look unamused. Then Mad Dog busts in and says she could feel her stomach shrinking after just a couple days; she said she was "losing weight, feeling good." And proudly adds, "If only I coulda stayed there for a couple more weeks, I'd be wearing a thong." She'll be here all week, folks. Try the fish. Bryant points out that handsome Mitchell thought the crew would feed them when the cameras were off. Mitchell says he thought the crew would throw him an apple: "Look at me! I'm seven feet tall, I weigh like a buck ten." I guess his personality didn't have a passport. Like the Mitchell we knew and didn't love, he then says that he was probably voted off because the lack of food hit him the hardest. Rodger says that they once went thirty-four hours with no food, and that on Thanksgiving day -- he knew because Nick was keeping a calendar -- all they had was macadamia nuts.

Bryant is bored of this topic now and wants to move onto the hardships part which somehow segues into "lack of companionship." Yeah, sixteen attractive strangers to do puzzles with, a volleyball and a pair of ice skates to pull teeth with -- I see the comparison. Bryant goes the old birthday-suit- on-the-birthday route, which wasn't much news when Richard did it last season. Kimmi, who also looks beautiful, says that they voted her off before she had a chance to get naked and Jeff says, "We saw it anyway." All the S16 laugh and act surprised; Jeff reaches over and pats Kimmi's knee. Bryant points out that Jeff asked, prior to the show's start, whether they'd be taped having sex. Jeff flirtatiously wants to know where Bryant heard that. Bryant then points out that no one even tried to have sex with each other, but he wouldn't really know that. Jeff says he can't imagine "anybody in that environment being romantically attracted to anyone." Bryant disagrees, calling them the "Baywatch bunch, " but Jeff insists that there's nothing sexy about not bathing or not brushing their teeth. Kimmi points out that there was no toilet paper and says, "You can hardly touch yourself, let alone somebody else." Bryant "Thrill of the Hunt" Gumbel then pulls out a zinger with, "Is that why, Nick, you said all these women looked so nasty?" There's much guffawing and faux outrage among the S16; Alicia looks around Jerri to see Nick when he answers that he had cute women on his tribe but "after twenty-four hours they're nasty." He then tries to backtrack by saying, "I was nasty, too." Someone says, "You'd better add that." I think it was Bozo the Keith. Mad Dog busts in again, saying that she'd designated herself as the "Prophylactic Police"; there were twelve condoms when she got there and "by God, there were twelve when [she] left." I think Mad Dog's been nipping at the Mad Dog again. Bryant then criticizes Lamber's and Elisabeth's choice of islandwear. He wants to know, "What was the deal with those bathing suits?" Lamber says, "Strategy," and Jerri of the semi-exposed nipples yells, "That was my line!" Bryant thinks Lamber confused her definitions and asks, "Strategy or modesty?" And Lamber reveals that she didn't want her top falling down, and also she "had to go with the shorts thing." Elisabeth says she wore something bright so that if "anything drastic happened" she could be found. She cracks herself up over this.

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