Crap from Africa
We're now in Winter Springs, Florida and the whole world smiles with Carl "Fuggotabouthim" Bilancione as he floats in a pool. We see clips of him working on patients; a tacky woman smiles at herself in the mirror. Carl's hair is back to gray this week, and it looks better than the brown it was last week. He tells us he loves dentistry because once he's in the dentist role, he doesn't think about anything else. He does not, however, call dentistry "an art." Besides, I thought for sure what he'd love about dentistry was repeatedly sticking his hands into the grubby mouths of strangers. You've got to wonder about the dentists. Carl drives and tells us that he cruises home each day from work with tunes playing on the radio. Because he's cool. We see the butt-end of the infamous Porsche, and then clips are replayed of Carl telling Samburu about his various automobiles. From the pool, Carl recounts the story; he says he knew that Silas was trying to suggest that he didn't need the money. Back behind the wheel, Carl posits that it's true that "little boys grow up to be men with bigger toys." Another clip shows Carl in Africa claiming that having a Porsche is not a big deal. Then he shouldn't make a big deal out of it, should he? In the pool once again, he tells us that he's worked his entire life to get to his current status. He's not embarrassed because that's "what defines America," and insists, "I feel I epitomize the American dream in my own right." Now Carl sits in his dentist's chair and masturbates while looking at slides of gingivitis. Okay, not so much. But he is in the dentist's chair, and he tells us that he read Walt Disney's autobiography at the age of twelve and learned his life's credo: "If you can dream it, you can do it." He says he dreamed he'd be on Survivor , and that the experience changed him. He doesn't say he dreamed of winning the game, which is an important distinction. Carl's son Brian tells us that Africa changed his father -- he's more willing now to listen to people. Carl tells us, "My wife said she should have sent me twenty years ago. It made me a nicer person." He laughs, even though it's more sad then funny. Carl's wife Deborah -- who looks like the end result of Darva Conger, Laura Dern, Linda Tripp, and a MAC counter girl falling into a blender -- tells us that Carl came back from Africa sweeter and kinder. She brags that he missed her a lot, and that his actions show it. Carl clichés about life being short; he shoots for baskets and pretends they're stars.