Survivor
Back from Africa

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Crap from Africa

Now Kelly leers at us from behind the wheel of her BMW as she says the "other side" of her drives way too fast, cuts loose, and is wild. So now she has three sides? And for the record, the wildest people I've known have never felt the need to brag about being wild. She speaks to me directly as she says, "Are you calling me schizophrenic?" And I'm not. That was last week. Kelly shoves a plate of cookies toward the camera and mugs repeatedly. She says she's "just a big dork at heart," and I won't argue with that.

We see Teresa "Hangin' With Mr." Cooper running in her hometown of Jackson, Georgia. She tells us that before she left for Survivor, she was working a lot -- so much so that her mother, who is also her best friend, told her she needed to work less and spend more time with her children. Teresa has finished her run and now stands in front of a real estate sign. She's all decked out in a suit and high heels she's unable to walk in. Her husband Brian says, "Teresa doesn't want to be a real estate agent. She wants to be the best real estate agent." He thinks she's "basically a corporation," whatever that means. He tells us that forty-eight days with no communication is a long time, and that they all missed her while she was gone. He wears very snug overalls. No wonder Teresa got along so well with Tom; she had her very own Big Brian back home. She says she didn't look at Survivor as a summer vacation to Africa or as a safari but as "a business trip." The objective was to be the last one standing, and she felt the situation was just "mind over matter." Tyler, her son, tells us he was scared every night because he was afraid his mother would get voted off or lose a challenge. He was not, however, worried about her safety or well-being in the dark continent. Teresa tells us she thought about her children the whole time she was in Africa, and how proud they'd be of her.

Now Teresa drives really slowly and tells us that, while she was in Africa, she had time to sort out what was really important in her life. We see a kitty cat in the U.S. and a lion cub in Africa. Because baby cats of all varieties are important. She tells us that she made a mental list of things she wanted to change when she got home. As she feeds her kids spaghetti and meatballs, she says she wants to read to the kids more, say prayers with them, and recite blessings over dinner. She also wants to give her husband more back-rubs, although she might regret saying that later. Teresa greets Tyler at the bus stop. Poor Ellie gets no face time in this? Tyler tells us that his mother was one of the last ones to step off her plane, and that he was the first one to hug her, and "it felt great." Teresa tells us that aside from being a mother and a friend to her children, she wants to be a role model. They appear to walk through the same woods Frank walked through with his family.

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Survivor

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