MONDO EXTRAS

Peachy tells us in the intro that tonight we’ll take a “final adventure into the private lives” of the sixteen survivors. It sounds like a Red Shoe Diary to me. In any case, credits.

Peachy strolls onto the set -- because I think at this point we can safely assume that this is Los Angeles and not Australia, if it ever actually was Australia in the first place -- in his “I’m a city slicker now” blazer and “I take my fashion cues from Regis” gray shirt. He announces that the game is over but the lives of its competitors have changed forever. We’re going “inside the homes and hearts of sixteen ordinary people now living extraordinary lives.” A clip of Tina tells us it’s not just children who have dreams; adults have them too. Thanks for that, Tina. I now feel freed to pursue my long-time dream of becoming a ballerina. Peachy then announces that some of the S16 found love, and we cut to a clip of Elisabeth and her now-fiancé mugging for the camera. Peachy then says we’ll also learn who didn’t find love, as Jerri says of Colby in a clip, “Knowing him now, I’d have to say no way in hell.” We’ll also, according to Peachy, learn who is searching for answers, and Michael’s burnt hands tell us they wonder why God would do something like that to them. Finally, we’ll see who is searching for peace while working as a corrections officer. Peachy adds that we’ll get some “surprising spin” from last year’s Survivors, and I guess that’s supposed to include Jenna’s confession that she is in love with Colby. She’s in the demographic -- of course she’s in love with him.

Peachy tells us that every player has a different take on their Outback experience, and we’ll first look at two who “want to set the record straight.” He tells us that the first wants to put it all behind her, while the other is “just lovin’ life and livin’ like mad.” A large road sign reads, “Welcome to Wakefield: Home of Maralyn Mad Dog Hershey Survivor II.” We next see a charming country house with a green Survivor flag out front. Inside, the phone rings and Maralyn’s gravelly voice drawls, “I’m probably Outback. But I’ll be happy to koala you later.” If this was any of the other S16 -- say, Mitchell or Bozo the Keith -- this outgoing message would be extremely grating, but with Mad Dog it’s just added charm.