MONDO EXTRAS

The camera pans over all of her Survivor paraphernalia, and then finally we see a red-shoed Maralyn playing her didgeridoo. She then runs with a goat. In a voice-over, she tells us that she’s the “same old Mad Dog” and “nothing’s really changed.” Kooky music plays in the background as we see a quick shot of Pimpin’ Mad Dog in a red hat and fur coat, creeping around her porch with a devilish look on her face. She tells us she went from being “your average street cop to the Outback on the number-one show on America.” Why is it that I don’t think many people have been inclined to describe Mad Dog as “average”? In any case, she thinks it’s bizarre to have gone through the Survivor experience, but insists that she’s still the same. She still has to muck out her “own donkey stall,” which we see her gleefully doing. Pimpin’ Mad Dog is back and standing on the porch; she holds up her blue granny bathing suit and says, “This was then…” We then cut to a shot of her sister, who says she’s a changed Mad Dog, so I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. Pimpin’ Mad Dog finishes with a “…this is now” and opens her fur coat to reveal that she’s wearing a red bikini and red high heels. This would have been a hysterical moment if they hadn’t ruined it by showing it in last week’s promo. Maralyn’s sister than tells us she’s now “very much out there.” Pimpin’ Mad Dog tells us she’s lost a total of twenty pounds -- it looks like more than that to me -- and has two tattoos, including a kangaroo and a “wrap-around crocodile” on her bicep. Inside the house, she tells us in a black-lit room that she returned from the Outback with a tan, but once it started to fade she decided “to heck with it; I wanna make my own tan.” Suddenly she’s in the sun bed, singing that “all the world is 'round the corner, watching us everywhere.” In a clothed confessional, she tells us that surviving Survivor and not allowing it to consume her identity may be the greatest challenge. I don’t imagine that Maralyn’s identity is that easily taken over. From the sun bed she sings, “Hey, Hef! I might shed it all!” Hee. Then there’s some standard blah blah-bage about life being short and living and loving like each day’s the last.