MONDO EXTRAS

Peachy welcomes us back and says the players in the next group prepared themselves for the Survivor experience by living in New York. Jeff Varner tells us that the show was the most unbelievable and “life-altering” thing he’s experienced. He says he’s lived in New York for seven years and was burned out; he woke up one morning and said his life couldn’t stay that way. He tells us he learned early in his life that going through a difficult thing changes you. Survivor for him wasn’t about winning the money -- although he admits he did try very hard to win it -- but about becoming a different person. Since none of these people are actually playing for the money, why don’t they just change the prize to “a more fulfilled life” or “better relationships with your friends and family”? We then see a montage of Jeff shots, including Jeff retching at Tina during the food wheel challenge, followed by a montage of shots of Jeff in his various media appearances, like Jeff telling Letterman he was voted off “'cause [he] was strong,” which cracks the audience up for some reason. Jeff is surprised and happy that he now has an agent. Jeff now has headphones on in front of a microphone while he fields answers from various radio stations. One of the reporters asks what the deal was between Michael and the pig, and Jeff answers, “He killed it and we ate it.” Another reporter asks if he masturbated on Survivor, and Jeff puts his head in his hands. I think Jeff needs his own talk show.

A little squirrel nibbles on a nut. I’m not sure what this is meant to signify, except that we’re near a park. We then see Alicia in a do-rag and red lipstick; she tells us that she’s not as serious and cutthroat as she appeared on the show. “I will always wave my finger in your face” is shown. Alicia rides a bike; Alicia lifts weights; Alicia Stairmasters. The cameraman seems to be ogling Alicia’s boo-yea booty through the lens while filming her. We learn that Alicia is maintaining her career as a personal trainer while doing various media appearances and photo shoots. We see footage of her presenting at the Sports Emmys and of a photo shoot where she wears a very flattering backless dress. She says she tells her trainees that they can do anything because she stood on a pole for ten hours. Of course, if she offered them $1 million, I’m sure they’d be more inclined to exert themselves too. I do want Alicia to be my trainer; I’m sure a little finger-waving would kick my ass into gear.