Back To The Beach

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sixteen Strangers, Two Giant Boobs, and One Just Peachy

Peachy's claim that this will be the "adventure of a lifetime" issues forth as an anchor drops. One group -- which includes a curly-headed moppet hereafter to be known as The Moppet -- huddles together. Various shots of the S16 reveal that they are jumping off the trawler and climbing into a huge raft. For the next several minutes, there is chaos, consisting of shouting, jumping, and flailing about, accompanied by a smaller amount of nose-holding. Peachy tells us that the S16, who have not yet spoken to each other, have been divided into two competing tribes: Maraamu and Rotu, the Tahitian words for "wind" and "rain." Each tribe will be given -- in addition to their giant raft -- a crate with minimal supplies, but no food or water. Once ditched by the trawler, they face a "difficult two-mile paddle" to their "new homes." One of the rafts is nearly sucked under the boat, which would have been tragic in a hysterically funny sort of way.

As the tribes paddle along, Peachy informs us that the Rotu tribe -- which will always wear blue -- will consist of Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien, a real estate agent from Burlington, Vermont; Gabriel "The Moppet" Cade, a bartender from Celo, North Carolina; Tammy Leitner, a crime reporter from Mesa, Arizona; Paschal English, a judge from Thomaston, Georgia; John Carroll, a registered nurse from Omaha, Nebraska; Neleh Dennis, a student from Layton, Utah; Zoe Zanidakis, a fishing boat captain from Mohegan Island, Maine; and Robert DeCanio, a limousine driver from Queens, New York. The ninth member of Rotu is a stingray, who gets his own very long, lingering headshot. Each cast member's introduction is presented along with a hammy background shot of the competitor, the most notable in this group being Tammy, who is posed with her sketch pad in front of an actual jail cell.

Maraamu will always wear yellow, and consists of Gina Crews, a nature guide from Gainesville, Florida; Sean Rector, a teacher from Harlem, New York; Sarah Jones, an account manager from Newport Beach, California; Rob Mariano, a construction worker from Canton, Massachusetts; Vecepia Towery, an office manager from Portland, Oregon; Peter Harkey, a bowling-alley owner from Millis, Massachusetts (and who, in his clip, appears to wear frosted pink lipstick); Patricia Jackson, a truck assembler from Lugoff, South Carolina; and Hunter Ellis, a Federal Express pilot from La Jolla, California. Hunter, we see, is being dragged along behind Maraamu's raft. Or, based on what we see later, perhaps he's mentally propelling the raft forward by reasoning it into exasperated submission.

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