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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Don't Come Back, Shane

So this is how it works: Two loved ones go with their contestants on an overnight stay at a lovely house with food and separate bedrooms and whatnot. One loved one gets to come back to camp overnight. One gets a hug, and then...that's it. The last one gets nothing -- except sent to Exile Island. Terry takes his wife as the first person going to the overnight -- duh. Then he picks Shane and Boston to go to the overnight, which...I would have brought the kid to camp, no? And maybe given Cirie and her husband the overnight? The same way that Terry wants it for himself? I don't know. Instead, Terry picks H.B. to go back to camp, and Cirie is all giggly and happy, which is cute. They like each other a lot. Now, the two loved ones left are the moms. Aras is getting the hug, and Chiclets is getting the short end of the stick -- not even a hug from her mom. As Aras gets his hug, he tells his mom to make lots of food for when he gets home. Heh. With my mom, it would be margaritas, but still. After Chiclets's mom gives a tearful farewell and gives her the love of "Pugsy," Chiclets watches her go and then says, "She's so cute." Heh. So now, Chiclets gets on the boat for Exile Island. Trish and Terry and Shane and Boston head off for their overnight. Cirie, H.B., and Aras head back to camp.

We return from commercials to visit Chiclets at Exile Island. She voices over that she was very disappointed about not being able to hug her mom when everybody else was able to hug his or her loved one. She chops a coconut and fantasizes that it might be Terry's head. I know the feeling. Sometimes, I imagine I am closing the car door on Shane's toe. Chiclets tells us that Terry is mad that she ruined his plan to go to F3 with Courtney, but she's "not going to sit and cry about it."

Back at Gitanos, Cirie tells H.B. that she ate some snails, and that they were good enough when they were hungry. She says that H.B. definitely didn't know what to expect when they got back to camp. She asks him whether she smells bad, and he hesitates only for a minute before breaking the news: yes, she does. She interviews that she thinks he was shocked to see how "primitive" the conditions at camp really were. We watch, as Cirie holds up a little container to H.B. and tells him that it contains "snail butts." To which he hilariously responds, "Snail who?" I'm not sure whether my reaction is that I didn't know that snails had butts, or whether I thought the entire snail was the butt. Cirie clarifies that she's referring to the bad parts of snails, and she uses it to attract fish. Aras, for his part, gives H.B. a fire-making lesson, and H.B. gets a little alarmed when the fire spits at him. Cirie chuckles in her interview that, like her, H.B. has never been anywhere, and that he's a "couch potato." We now observe, as she pours some water into a canteen, and he's a little surprised that she's drinking water that looked so grungy. "With the dirt and stuff in it?" he asks her. "It's good for you," she laughs. "I thought that was, like, a basin that y'all wash y'all feet in or something," he tells her. Oh, H.B. Their feet would leave water much dirtier than that. Cirie tells us that seeing H.B. there made her appreciate how far she's come, and made her feel like maybe she's been underestimating herself all along. I would not dismiss that possibility, certainly.

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