Man, what an arrogant prick. This entire thing is nothing but Terry saying, "Your emotional life is less important than mine, because it is not arranged like mine." Terry is actually refusing to acknowledge that it sucked hard for Aras and Chiclets not to see their mothers. It's mind-boggling to me that anyone could look another person in the eye and announce that he is so sure that he knows how everyone's emotional lives are and should be arranged that he knows for a fact that you don't love [this person] as much as he loves [that person]. It's such bullshit, you know? What Aras is trying to say with all that silliness about rocks is that most people have someone who's primary to them -- that's the person you go to first. If you are at the end of your rope, you go to that person. If you need a favor that's hard to ask for, you go to that person. If you fuck up and you don't know how to fix it and you're embarrassed to admit what you did, you go to that person. If you're scared, you're lonely, you're hurt, you're discouraged, you're ecstatic, you're amused -- you go to that person. They keep you from screwing up; they help you keep your perspective; they are blindly loyal to you; they cover you and protect you and remind you who you are; and they let you do all that same stuff for them -- that's who that person is.
And as much as I often find the "I haven't seen my family in ten days, WAAAAAAH" stuff kind of overblown, having that person vanish is undoubtedly very difficult. I agree with Terry that for most married people, that person is their spouse, which is perfectly appropriate. For kids, it's probably a parent. For some parents, it's a child. For some people, it's a best friend. And it's not just that the person is your spouse that makes that loss, even temporarily, so difficult to bear -- it's that the person is primary to you. The fact that Terry's mother isn't that person to him, doesn't mean that Aras's mother isn't that person to him. The loss of your primary support system and the person who stands at the center of it -- whoever that person is -- is very difficult and very disorienting, even if you're not married. For Terry to stand here and blow smoke about how nobody's mom is as important as anybody's wife is...well, really, what it makes me feel is sorry for Terry, because it doesn't sound like he's had a very rich collection of relationships if he doesn't understand that anybody other than a spouse can be important enough for it to really hurt not to see them. I'm not saying marriages aren't unique relationships, because they are, but they're not unique because other relationships can be dismissed as "only her mom." "Only her sister," "only his best friend," "only his daughter." It's ridiculous. Not all marriages are perfect emotional bonds. Not all family relationships or other relationships are inferior to them. God. Open your eyes to a complicated emotional world, you close-minded dick.