Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 522 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle Of Dumb

Osten finally settles and gets Lillian work on digging a big sand hole, which is apparently the first step in shelter-building. It's the fire pit, I guess. And nothing will do wonders for your image like opening with, "Dig the fire pit, old lady!" He tells us that he was completely confused by Lillian's scout uniform, wondering if it was "a joke." Hey, it's not as much of a joke as your droopy shorts, there, Mr. Pixel. Lillian, meanwhile, complains that her troop would "kick [her] butt" if they saw that she was lighting a campfire with a candle. Heh. We switch to her interview, in which she explains that it's a challenge to de-scout and not push everybody around: "It's real hard not to be the scoutmaster here." For some reason -- which isn't but certainly could have been the amusement of me personally -- somebody inserts a little cymbal crash at the moment Lill pulls the scout hat off to demonstrate her point. Just one of those little touches. She and Nicole work on building the fire.

Elsewhere, Andrew and Ryan O. have a plan, and that plan is to build the shelter as a lean-to against a shale wall. This won't require as much building, they figure, and it takes advantage of their surroundings a little better than just plunking the shelter down in the sand. They find some bamboo posts and start setting them against the wall. As they build, Osten manages to pull a big piece of the wall down by just poking it with a stick, and while you and I might file that under "bad omen," Morgan decides not to worry about it. After all, who cares about the wall? What's the worst thing that can happen, death by crushing? Structurally unsound, schmucturally unsound.

The Pirate Map shifts us over from the island marked "Morgan" to the island marked "Drake." Ryan S. should be very jealous, because Drake's arrival at their island is marked by hooting and happiness. They hop off the boat and scurry up the shore. In fact, they even huddle with their hands together and give a football-style cheer. As the shelter-building begins, it becomes clear that Shawn and Burton -- their naked chests blazing and their buffs tied moron-style around their heads -- have decided that they're going to run the place. Shawn tells us that this happened because he and Burton have "a little more strong personalities" and are "a little more physical, you know...uh, mentally, as well." Putting aside the importance of being comprehensible if you're going to bother praising your own intellect, I have to wonder...is Shawn saying he and Burton have stronger personalities than, say, Rupert? Yeah. Okay, there, beefcake. Christa and Rupert start fetching bamboo for the shelter as well as other wood for the fire. Trish thinks it all went swimmingly, and she was surprised at how well everyone worked together. The Drake shelter takes shape fairly quickly, and is built in the increasingly popular style of a bamboo platform lifted up off the ground and covered by a canopy. Burton instructs Christa to go off and fetch "bigger firewood." She interviews that she was extremely tired. "I just wanted to breathe for a second," she complains in her horrifying nasal voice.

Survivor

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