Beg, Barter, Steal

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 2 USERS: A+
Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle Of Dumb

We cut to a festive backyard party somewhere in town. The Drakes come upon this party, and Sandra sizes it up as an impressive barbecue. She comes up with an inventive plan, and walks up and offers the lady throwing the party her gold chain for everything at the barbecue. The lady agrees, and when she asks Sandra what she wants, Sandra repeats that she means she wants everything. She recalls in an interview what she told the lady: "'I want all your chicken. I want your aluminum foil, I want your ketchup, your hot sauce, your barbecue sauce'...she had a cutting board, a knife...everything. The only thing we didn't take was the grill." That was a nice move, because although you probably wouldn't spend precious money on hot sauce, it's going to be damn nice to have something to taste besides plain, unadorned fish. I was also immediately impressed with Sandra's adaptability and creativity: it's not everyone who would be audacious enough to walk up and just offer to buy out a family barbecue. Oh, and "I want all your chicken" would make a great beginning for a robbery. When they return to a waiting Rupert (who's standing guard over their booty, aye), he's impressed with the take, and particularly happy to see the freshly-cooked chicken in the aluminum bowl.

Tijuana, meanwhile, is dismayed to look over and see the haul that Drake has brought down while she was arguing with Trish's girlfriend. To her credit, she says, "They were taking the time, and we weren't." Her tribe, meanwhile, under the non-brilliant leadership of Osten, has decided that it's time to cut bait on the shopping and head for the boat, even though they haven't even spent the money they think they can afford to spend. Ryan S. complains in an interview that they didn't do a good job getting supplies at all, because they didn't act carefully and because they were overanxious to get to the boat and get on the way to camp. They board their boat, as we see our first shot of Osten's shorts falling down and his ass being pixelized. It's going to be a theme, so be prepared. Morgan's boat takes off for their island.

Accordion-ish Music of Success and Plenty accompanies Drake, just now concluding a very successful shopping day in which they have managed to get some colorful toothbrushes, among other things. Sandra emphasizes that she thinks they did very well with shopping, and got just the things they wanted. They do indeed seem to be hauling quite a lot to the boat, including fishing stuff, wine, a big tarp, machetes...they do indeed have the makings of a nice camp. With all the booze and camping gear, it could be a rich suburban kid's graduation party...well, except for the live chickens. Shawn says that he had pocketed forty balboas, figuring that would be enough for the boat. Indeed, it is, so the team is off on its adventure. Once Jon has wrangled the live chicken back into the fold, that is. They climb aboard the boat and take off. On their boat ride, they're able to enjoy the fruit and chicken and stuff that they brought along. "We're definitely ready to go all-out for the next forty days," Christa says. Well, if Christa thinks they're good, I'm sure they are. Unless she's been on Usenet recently, if you know what I mean. And I'm certain that you do.

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