Survivor
Blackmail Or Betrayal

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Bully For You

And then, it gets better. Right when they're celebrating, Alex and Mookie realize that Stacy and Cassandra are hiding nearby and listening. So they go through an entire grieving process for their incredibly shitty plan, and how now, it's all ruined. Alex has this wounded-fawn expression, like he can't believe their five minutes of scheming are going to waste. "We're screwed," Alex says. "There goes that plan," says Mookie. For about the fiftieth time, Mookie and Alex now talk about how what they need to do is "blow up his spot," meaning tattle on Yau Man. As they walk back to camp, they come up with this plan, which I swear to God I am not making up: they will go to Yau Man and tell him that if he doesn't tell everyone he has the idol, they'll tell everyone. So...they're not going to try to get anything from Yau Man, like, "If you vote for Cassandra, we won't tell anyone you have the idol." Or, "If you vote for either of us at the next tribal council, the other of us will tell everyone you have it." Something. ANYTHING. Anything other than, "You know this information that we've concluded you wouldn't want us to reveal before you have a chance to reveal it? Well, here's your chance to reveal it before we do." That is the worst thing -- the literally worst thing, just about -- that you could do. Telling on him at least makes him look shady. Not telling him at least gives you an information advantage. This gives you NOTHING.

When we come back from commercials, Alex and Mookie -- seriously, this is so awesome -- are running to make it back to camp in time to strong-arm Yau Man into nullifying their advantage over him. Hurry, hurry! Mookie explains in an interview that they were giving Yau Man "an ultimatum." See, an ultimatum is usually something you give in order to force someone to give you something you want. Here, why do they want him to tell everyone? What is the possible advantage of him telling everyone versus them telling everyone? Why are they trying to pressure him to do what's worse for them? IT MAKES NO SENSE. This does not keep them from knuckle-chucking each other as they run toward camp.

Okay, but here's the really good part. The really, really good part. Remember the shitty plan that Cassandra and Stacy overheard, forcing Mookie and Alex to abandon it in favor of an even more shitty plan? It turns out that Cassandra and Stacy couldn't really hear anyway. They were eavesdropping, and they caught a few words, but they're like, "Guh." They don't really know anything. It's pretty sweet.

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