Survivor
Boys vs. Girls

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Battle of the Sexists

The men quickly untie themselves and are on their way, while Shawna fumbles with the knot securing Jaburu's boat and finds far less success. While her tribemates sit around not bothering to help, she eventually works it out while she explains in a voice-over that her "brain was so jumpy" that she couldn't even untie the boat, which made her feel stupid.

We join the men as they paddle along, and Roger can't let three minutes go by without issuing an order. He calls for their attention, and worries that they'll have light for only five more hours or so. In an interview Ryan tells us that as soon as the tribes were named, his strategy went out the window. He thinks it sucks that he had a workable game plan and got thrown the hitch of a "sausage-fest" all-male tribe.

In the women's boat, someone asks how Janet is, and she responds that she's nervous, but trained in medical emergencies, which wins their applause. Considering that monkey poop is likely to win their applause, that's no big deal. In an interview Jenna tells us that being stranded in the jungle with seven other women is her worst nightmare. She complains that she can't use any of her "womanly powers on women" because women find that kind of thing insulting. Men, however, are much more easily manipulated.

The men, meanwhile, have spotted their beach. They have very pretty blue-colored buffs, but I'm sure they're less about the pretty part and more about the blue. Because they're men! And men wear blue! The producers should have given them pink buffs just to make them squirm. Dave tells us in an interview that the men made a beeline for the shore and were excited to start making camp by building the shelter and working on the fire. They discover their crateful of meager rations, which has a hatchet-like tool stuck in its lid. They all insist -- Survivor-style -- on putting one hand on the handle and doing a cheer, and Daniel is already on my nerves for no real reason except that he seems hyper-aware of the cameras. They debate how to use the hatchet-like tool, while Dave announces the need for the tribe to "capitalize" on being "men of pride, men of honor, whatnot," and the fact that "right now, baby, we're the favorites right now!" He says that they are "straight up" more physically adept than the Jaburu tribe, and Rob interrupts to say that they'll look like the "biggest ass ever" if they go home first. A big, collective, eight-faced, one-assed organism. Kind of like something out of South Park. It's quite a visual. Ryan insists that they're not going to lose, because they can't lose. In an interview, he tells us the bottom line is that the women are just "eye candy." He appreciates that they're great to look at and adds, "Thank you for wearin' bikinis." He announces that if they lose to the girls, it will be really rough. The men finally get the crate opened and immediately fixate on the machetes it contains. Butch -- ever the school principal -- orders them to be careful with them. In an interview, Roger tells us that the crate included five gallons of fresh water, fish hooks and line, kerosene, two lanterns, and a flint. Alex informs us that they also got a "mystery box," and a note which advised them to not open it an expected key appears. There's also some bright yellow material, which Alex explains is "manioc flour." He claims that it's got a lot of nutritional value, as well as lots of carbohydrates to keep them going. Someone in the group says something about "fatties," and Roger wants them all to huddle up for a "group hug." To their credit, the other men appear to ignore that suggestion, and instead continue eagerly strapping on their machetes. Rob announces, "This is so cool. My parents would never let me have a machete!" Hee.

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