Behold the tribal council lizard, how he keeps watch.
Tribal council. Those who have not already been here dip their torches and are given life. Jeff brings in Bruce, who has been cooling his heels offscreen on Exile Island, and he sits over in the jury area. Jeff asks Shane about his comments about how hard and miserable things are. "It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life," Shane announces. Jesus. He is such a weenie. It sounds like he has a kid he doesn't live with; one might think some part of that scenario might be worse than six days of not having all that much food. ["Also, I don't see how this is a 'thing' that 'happened to' him. I know Viacom is a big company now, but I don't think it's so big that people actually have to go on reality shows because they've been drafted." -- Wing Chun] Shane talks about how he wanted to leave today because of "the mania of dehydration." Also known as "his personality." He also brings up his nicotine withdrawal, which brings Jeff to eye-rolling. Jeff asks if this is like detox for Shane. "It's like a psychotic, bad-idea detox," says Shane. I cannot wait until he's gone, because every minute with him is an eternity.
Jeff asks Cirie about camp life. She says that the tribe seemed happy until today, when it got harder after it was announced that there were four people against the other three. "It's hurtful," she says. "I'm human." And as much as I don't like Cirie's fear of leaves, I do appreciate her saying that, because while being voted off is just part of the game and you can't really be wounded by it, people being arrogant and inconsiderate of your feelings is still people being arrogant and inconsiderate of your feelings. It's not like you don't feel it when people are disrespectful of you just because it's in the confines of a game, even if game play itself is a ridiculous basis on which to conclude that you've been mistreated. Moreover, Melinda adds that she and Cirie have done fine in the challenges, so the entire idea of voting them off is pretty unsupported anyway. She makes a good point, which is that it's not an automatic thing that Melinda would be worth less in challenges than a detox-ing skinny-assed freak with no apparent ability to concentrate. You know who su-u-u-cked at challenges? Ethan Zohn. Professional athlete Ethan Zohn. You know why? Because he couldn't chill. Does Shane look to you like he can chill? Chilling appear to be in his future? Was he any good during the challenges thus far? I think not. So part of what Melinda is saying is that the members of the alliance within her tribe are totally engaging in ridiculous stereotyping, even if they weren't being rude besides.