When morning comes to Old Lady HQ and Day 4 is upon us, Cirie sits and ponders whether today will be the day she learns to conquer her vegetaphobia. Right now, she is practicing dealing with her hostility to plants by setting some on fire with the flint the tribe received. Ruth Marie and Melinda kibitz and blow. (And no, you may not name your band Kibitz and Blow, because that is the name of my upcoming vaudeville act in which I play half of an uncoordinated ice-dancing team.)
The Younger Women, meanwhile, are using a long pole to knock down a papaya. When Sally gets the papaya free, hippie-ish Courtney, wearing an ugly floppy hat that she unbelievably decided to go without other items in order to bring, congratulates her. The Younger Women crack open the papaya back at camp and share it around, predictably leading to a lot of "ooh, aah" reactions and the ultimate declaration from Misty that indeed, just as the camera guy is hoping, eating the papaya is just like having an orgasm. I'm not sure what it says about my enjoyment of fruit and other people that while others might think that's a hell of a papaya, I more think that Misty needs to date outside the produce department. It's so depressing that we couldn't get any farther than this without the show needing to stress how the girls are eating fruit together and it's like they're almost making out.
Terry perches on a rock, looks out at the water, and declares that things look bad both to the west and to the north. Thus, we shall point our cotton candy to the south and to the east? Shane, already addict-skinny, runs his hand over his greasy, greasy hair to inform us of his suffering. He says that he is thinking about all that he's missing, like his "kid." "It's football practice," he says, "and we have a game Saturday." I would point out that this is the morning of Day 4. Day 4! I'm not saying you shouldn't miss your child after four days, but if you're the kind of person who's going to flip out after four days, perhaps you should have known that you weren't going to make it for thirty-nine. Shane declares that he misses his child "so much." It turns out that Shane has decided that there is actually no good reason for him to be on Survivor. Of course, there is no good reason for anyone to be on Survivor, except that they are fascinated by the idea of temporary fame and living in a really unfamiliar locale. It's not like other people are here on work release. "I don't know why I did this to myself," he says. Reminder: It is DAY 4. The last batch of bananas Shane bought before leaving home is still on the counter and it's perfectly good. I'm just saying.