Survivor
Breakdown

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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"I Quit. No, I Don't. Wait, What Was The Question?"

Later, we join Casaya at their camp. It is still Day 4, and President Beefcake is planting the team flag. (Nothing dirty intended.) Shane takes a swim out in the water with a bunch of his new tribemates, and he complains bitterly about how the guys he was with before just wouldn't stop working and trying to survive and stuff. So annoying! He also never felt like he belonged with old guys anyway. "I'm thirty-four going on twelve!" he declares, making the critical mistake of now understanding that certain things are only funny when they're not true. He voices over that his mood has improved dramatically since he changed tribes. On his old tribe, he thought about leaving a lot, and now he never thinks about leaving. Never! Must be his old tribe's fault! He also calls himself "young for [his] age in the way that [he thinks] about life." Ah, yes. It's the "I embrace my emotional infancy; you should, too!" way of thinking. I just love that. LOVE it. Because really, is there anything cuter than adults who are preoperative? They're like wee pandas! You want to kiss and hug them! ["I bet you a dollar that Shane is the kind of person who claims that his 'kid' is his best friend, and that his kid will move out the day after he graduates high school and call Shane once a year after that." -- Wing Chun]

The tribe checks out the existing shelter -- which Tina undoubtedly built before she was unceremoniously ejected -- and they all admire the work that went into it and the fact that it manages to keep people dry, which is more than anyone else can say for their shelters. In an interview, Cirie sighs and heaves everything she's got as she explains that her camp has been "invaded." She goes on to explain that some of the new people are okay, but Courtney is "like" and "you know," and then we see footage of Courtney in a truly nauseating conversation with somebody or other in which she is confronted about being "Hollywood" and giggles that she's "like, gangsta Hollywood, man." Yes, she is "gangsta Hollywood." With the...colonic racketeering, I guess. She could not have alienated me more than she did with the phrase "gangsta Hollywood" if she had put a curse on my dog. Unless, of course, the curse included the phrase "gangsta Hollywood." For Melinda's part, she thinks it's just clear that she and Cirie don't fit in with the rest of the group. This is also where, apropos of nothing, we get our best shot of the weird way Shane walks, like there's a corncob stuck up his rear. I seriously do not get what that's about. Oh, and then Shane says that it's fun "having girls around." Because he loves the ladies! Gets along with the females! Is down with the fillies!

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Survivor

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