Burly Girls, Bowheads, Young Studs And The Old Bunch

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M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Goodbye, Dolly

Cut to the steaming pot of plantain-and-coconut stir-fry, which nobody appears to enjoy very much. Especially when they discover that it's riddled with maggots. Okay, ew. Twila argues, "They can't be maggots, 'cause it's been boiled." She doesn't seem to be entirely clear on what boiling is able to accomplish. It may kill the maggots, but not physically remove them, as I have learned from bitter, bitter experience. Twila makes the leap directly from denial to acceptance and beyond, loudly celebrating their unexpected protein windfall. I will now attempt to transcribe her exact remarks as she chows down: "Yeah, eat 'em up, mmm, gosh, give it to me, mmm, ah-haaAUUGHH!" Dolly, however, gets quietly and unostentatiously weepy. She interviews that this latest setback is causing everything to sink in. "But I'm having fun, I'm not complaining at all," she clarifies tearily from under her "Life is Good" hat. "I'm so happy to be here. I'm just hungry and tired." Later, she gets comforting hugs from Ami and even Twila, the latter of whom tells us that she doesn't think the younger women were prepared: "If it comes down to eatin' maggots, I'm gonna eat maggots. To me, they were cooked. They're good. Protein. Eat' em. Shut up." Which Twila really didn't, but I'll allow it, because again, "Mmm, ah-haaAUUGHH!" Twila continues, "If they want to be pampered, they need to go back to the Holiday Inn." Ah, yes, the Holiday Inn. The height of pampered living.

At Lopevi, Travis and John P. take a walk in the woods. John P. asks whether his name came up before the last Tribal Council. Travis, after disingenuously asking, "This last one?" (no, Travis, the third one in the Outback), admits that it did. JP interviews that it's looking like himself, John K., and Agent Brady against the older crowd of Sarge, Chad, Rory, Travis, and Chris. Five against three, for those of you keeping score at home. "Those aren't good odds," JP tells us. Well, for the majority it is. Travis comes right out and tells JP that he's too big a threat. "It's your personality...your great looks...that's a threat." Damn, that didn't go where I thought it was going. Travis tells JP that he's going to base his decisions on his four children and wife back home. "So if I had kids," JP says, getting worked up right past Travis's point, "would that alter your decision? Is that what you're telling me?" JP, Travis isn't playing for all kids. He's playing for his kids. That's an important distinction. Now, maybe if you had Travis's kids, this would be a different conversation. And let me just say that if the producers want to up the stakes next season, that's something that bears thinking about. JP's all offended, because he thinks everyone should be helping him win or something, and Travis spells it out: "There were seventeen threats when we started this game...only one person wins." JP looks like that never occurred to him before.

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