How It Didn't Happen
Jeff now plays his favorite meaningless game: the hypothetical vote, in which he asks a bunch of people who've had the chance to see the entire show what they would have done in the event that things went differently, and he assumes that they can accurately tell him what they would have done back then, not having seen the show and having had four thousand discussions with friends and family. The informal straw poll indicates that, had the F3 been Erik, Peih-Gee, and Denise, Peih-Gee would have "won," getting imaginary votes from imaginary Todd, Courtney, and Frosti, and kind of Amanda and kind of James, so Jeff is all, "Peih-Gee, you almost won!" I'm sure she feels just awful now, Jeff. Peih-Gee obligingly is all, "Oh, noooo!" but I think she's smart enough to value that experiment correctly -- at zero. Furthermore, hey, Jeff? If Peih-Gee really was that close to winning, Todd really needed Denise to be a dumb-ass in order to win, because his strategy left open a kind of obvious route to his own undoing, along with a great motive to undo him.
Jeff promises that, after the break, we will talk more to James. Well, that's awesome. Can't get enough!
When we return, we watch a montage of Courtney moments designed to drive home the fact that, in your real life, you probably don't want to be friends with Courtney. But if you were out there with nobody to talk to and no friends, she would probably be the most enjoyable person to sit around and talk shit with. Back at the reunion show, Jeff tells Courtney that she has the record for "the most one-liners." He asks her whether, in her life as a New York waitress, she gets recognized a lot. She says that the tourists recognize her. Particularly, she says, she gets recognized by little children whose parents have no idea who she is, but who look at her and (apparently sounding quite a lot like Cindy-Lou Who, based on her imitation) say, "That's that girl from the show!" Jeff asks her why she thinks it's kids who most often recognize her, and she goes to the "family show" explanation. But she also says -- pretty astutely, as a matter of fact -- that she thinks kids relate to the most childlike person, referring to her small size, her pigtails, her little flowered 'do, her bratty behavior, and so forth. And then, awesomely, Jeff Probst is all, "Do you enjoy that; do you like kids?" And Courtney -- because she wouldn't be herself if she didn't -- says, "No, I actually hate kids." Everyone laughs hysterically, largely out of envy, because it's hard not to envy a person who can get away with that kind of thing -- with declaring whatever the hell, because at this point, what's anybody going to do to her besides thinking what they already think anyway?