Crack In The Alliance

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
Chicks, Hicks, Dicks, and Tricks

As Kelly and Sue haul some more brush, Sex Talk Sue makes her first appearance in the episode and says she thinks they should take Rich out in the end, and that it would be best if "just the two of us did it." We then cut back to Sue's confessional where she reveals, "I been knowing all along that I'm gonna burn him. But I didn't wanna say anything to Kelly too early." Sue then tells Kelly that Rich is a snake, but that she appreciates that he "got their crap together early" regarding the alliance. She says she never trusted Rich, but that she hopes it looks like she trusts him. Kelly tells Sue she knew Rich was against her and that "he's not that fucking smart." As they have this conversation, it's edited to look like Talking Rudy Doll and Rich are knowingly watching Sue and Kelly, but I don't really believe that they are. Sue tells us, "Right now, I don't trust anybody except for Kelly. I trust Kelly one hundred percent. One hundred percent. And she trusts me the same. We're like sisters." Wicked stepsisters, maybe. Kelly and Sue talk about when they'll get rid of Rich, and Kelly says, "I would feel so good about myself," which seems to contradict her whole new ethical standpoint about doing things as an individual. Kelly tells us she and Sue have bonded, and then in a brief trip to bizarro Survivor world, Sue appears in a confessional and says, "And, uh, it'll be twenty years come this Easter that I lost my best friend. So comin' across Kelly, someone I can hang with. It's been so long. I ain't gonna fuck her. I'm not burning her." She starts crying here, and I hate to poke fun at someone's misfortune, but that's my job. Sex Talk Sue "ain't gonna fuck Kelly," and I bet Kelly's happy about that in more ways than one. And not to sound like Talking Rudy Doll here, because maybe Sue does feel fraternally or maternally towards Kelly, but it may be that she's feeling something else. As Sue lies face-up on the raft and Kelly lies face-down, we see Sue's hand creep slowly outward towards the underneath part of Kelly's upper thigh, which is not something I've ever done with my sister. But then again, maybe Greg does that with his sister, so who am I to judge?

Talking Rudy Doll and Rich hang out in the hammocks (this is the first time I've seen Talking Rudy Doll in a hammock), and Rich blabbers on while Talking Rudy Doll just looks around crankily. Rich says he believes everyone in the alliance; he's not sure Kelly is as "solid" as he hopes, but he feels very good about Sue. I like it when the editing pokes fun at Rich. Rich says he hopes they're serious and "if they're not, then they're brilliant, because they've played me well. They've played me beautiful." Like a violin, Rich, or a tuba. We then cut to a shot of Sue and her tattoo lurking very visibly outside of camp, saying once again that she'd rather it was just her and Kelly to burn Rich because it will "feel so good." Do you think Sue and Kelly want to "burn" Rich? Do you think it will make them feel good? Because I'm not quite sure, and I think I need to hear it a few more times to be convinced. Rich says that if they are playing him, he'll "shake those people's hands and say, 'Congratulations. You' know, Brilliant. Good job. You got it. Because you fooled me." Rich stutters at the very thought of being wrong. We then cut to a shot of Sue saying, "Me 'n' Kelly are takin' him down."

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