Ready...go! The rope-cutters are Jamie and Brandon. Brandon chops the rope like an axe, hack-hack-hack. Jamie takes more of a sawing approach. Brandon's works quickly; Jamie's doesn't. In fairness, once Yaxha is already gone, Jamie does take some hacks at the rope, and they don't seem to advance him very much. At the second station for Yaxha, Bobby Jon chops the log. Jamie is, in fact, still working on the first of the two ropes he has to cut when Bobby Jon finishes chopping the log and Yaxha heads for the cart. And then, finally, Jamie gets through the first rope. Blake, Amy, Gary, and Brian put the handles in the crank and start pulling it up the ramp. I really do feel for Jamie as Jeff starts saying things like, "One of the biggest blowouts thus far in Survivor Guatemala." You just know Jamie is doing his best, because he's fucking dying out there, and it did make me wonder...I mean, ropes and rocks aren't the most scientifically perfect cutting mechanisms ever, and it did make me wonder if Jamie's rocks might not have been slightly inferior to Brandon's. ["You know I'm always looking out for shit they could rig without being obvious about it, and the relative dullness of Jamie's rock certainly qualifies." -- Wing Chun] At any rate, Yaxha gets the cart to the top, six of them climb in, and Danni hacks the rope. The cart rolls down the hill. As they roll, Bobby Jon decides to not only "Wooo!," but kick his legs in the air at the other tribe, which does come off as perhaps unnecessarily "fuck you" for a team that's blowing out the other team. Flashing your crotch and shrieking isn't the most gracious way to win that I've ever seen. Anyway, Yaxha rolls into a pile of dirt that's used to stop them, and that's the reward for them. Jamie seems to want to finish the course, because he finally does get through the second rope, but the team puts the kibosh on it. Judd gives Jamie a hug and kisses him on the head, even though you know he kind of wants to kill him. I think that Judd is, oddly, the person most likely to sympathize, because he's totally been that guy who wants to look awesome but then looks like the goat. You just know he has. It's totally the only reason Judd would smooch a dude's head on television: shared humiliation.
Episode Report CardMiss Alli: B | 495 USERS: C+
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