Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 631 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Cannibalism

So the reward happens right at camp, which isn't what I expected. The rewards have been pretty paltry this season. Remember when they used to go camping with their moms or go on a yacht with their dads? Anyway, the shower is just a rigged-up bush shower with limited water. Coach goes first, and tries not to use all the water. Cochran interviews that he totally lied about his birthday, but at least the lie worked to get him a massage. As they get said massages (and Cochran is predictably gross about it), Coach claims that he'll do whatever it takes to get Cochran more time in the game. Will he? Also, I'm not usually into body shaming but Cochran's upper arms are smaller than mine. They are toothpicks. Has he ever lifted anything heavier than a book in his life?

Post-massage, Cochran and Albert sneak off into the woods. Albert says that things aren't looking good for Cochran, and that Albert doesn't think Coach is ready to make a move like voting out Rick. Cochran is really, really sure that Coach is ready to do just that, which makes Albert happy. Hmm, bad blood between Albert and Rick. Albert explains that Rick is dumb and has been calling him "Princess Albert." Interesting how it changed from Prince to Princess via the grapevine. Anyway, Albert tells Cochran that if Coach switches his vote, Albert will too.

So now Cochran has a mission. He goes to Edna next, and floats the idea of getting rid of Rick next. Edna's totally on board, since it moves her up the ladder a slot into fifth place instead of sixth. She tells Cochran that she thinks he deserves some reward for flipping at the merge, which is feeding his ego. Edna might not be as dumb as she looks.

Cochran goes to Coach and claims that it was all Albert's idea to get rid of Rick next, but he wants a commitment from the rest of them or he won't do it. Coach silently considers it but we don't see his answer. Instead, we get an interview with Coach where he says that he can go with the tide and make a new alliance of Albert, Edna and Cochran, or he can stick with his original alliance. Coach claims to quote Shakespeare when he says, "There is a tide that comes in the lives of men, that when taken, leads to great fortune, but when omitted, all the rest of their lives are bound in shadows and misery." He was actually a lot closer with this quote than the last sham quote he made up. The actual quote, from Julius Caesar is, "There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries." So good job, Coach. Not bad when you don't have access to Google like I do.

Survivor

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