Survivor
Survivor

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Miss Alli: F | 503 USERS: C+
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Hanging Chad

Now, it's time for Jeff to explain what they're playing for. The winning team will be taken on an overnight visit to a traditional Vanuatu tribe. There will be "cultural activities," including "a major feast." And because you don't go to a party empty-handed, they'll be taking their pig to the party as a gift. At least it's not another set of linen napkins.

The way the teams break out for the challenge, Chad, Chris, Eliza, and Ami wind up in one group, while Scout, Twila, Leann, and Julie wind up on the other. Eliza is the tied-up person on her team; Julie is the tied-up person on hers. "Survivors ready...go!" The first thing Julie and Eliza have to do is crawl -- or in Julie's case, dive -- through the middle of a fence, and it's all looking pretty difficult at this point, actually. The two guys do have an advantage, in that they find it fairly easy to basically manhandle Eliza, just throwing her through the middle, picking her up, winding her back through, and so forth. I will freely admit that I thought all of the parts where the guys were threading Eliza through the course were kind of hot. Sorry. Eliza gets untangled from the fence first, and she heads for the hitching posts, where her team continues to do a good job of leading her through the course. Julie's team finally gets her past the fence. Eliza's team unwinds her from the hitching posts, and they head for the wall. Interestingly, I think the secret MVP here is probably Eliza herself, who does quite a bit of jumping up and swinging over things in a way that indicates to me that her stomach muscles are nothing to chuckle at. I think she did a very good job with this challenge, even though her role seems kind of inert at first glance. Julie gets to the wall, cutting Eliza's lead by a little bit. Eliza clears the wall, and now it's time to burrow under the log. Eliza is pulled under the log, in a move that really does look like it could be kind of dangerous if the hole turned out to be too shallow, because if they yanked on her and it hung up on, say, her nose? Ow. But that doesn't happen, and she goes under the log just fine. Of course, the rope goes around one more time, so she has to go under again. Julie goes under. Eliza goes under, losing her ponytail along the way. Julie goes under the second time face-down, requiring the blurring of her ass crack, as well as really making you wonder what these people are smoking, because why would you pull her through the sand on her face? Both teams make it to the final piece, which is a tall post with holes in it, with the rope all knotted and screwy around it, so they've got to do a whole lot of untangling right here before they're done. See, it's all this carrying of Eliza that Chris and Chad are doing that I thought was kinda sexy. It's possible that I have fireman fantasies or something. At any rate, Eliza's team finishes first, they run to the finish, and they celebrate. Julie is actually a little teary; I think being the ballast in that challenge was pretty physically unpleasant. Jeff sends the losers back to camp, and sends the winners to their party with their pig.

Survivor

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