And as we soon learn, the most ass-knocked of all is Chad. We watch in night vision as he tells Chris, "I feel kinda buzzed, but my coordination is just, like, 'whoooooa.'" And you should say that last word in the most Sean Penn, Fast Times At Ridgemont High voice you have. Chad admits in an interview that he wound up in a "kava-induced stupor." And then he's like, "Heh." In fact, night-vision Chad explains that he can "barely stand up." Heey, he can have a seat next to me. Chris is very entertained by Chad's deteriorating condition, and it is bringing the redneck in Chris ever farther out than usual. "Kava tore him UP!" Chris says happily, in his wingman way. Then Chris puts his arm around Chad and thumps him on the chest in this "oh, you adorable goddamn drunk, now don't fall over, there" way that's really rather endearing, especially since Chad has this completely blank, plastered expression on his face. Chad is escorted to a tent to lie down. Lightweight. As Chad lies with a blanket over him, he looks right at the camera and moans, "Kavaaaaa." It's really, really funny, actually. And then he rolls over and passes out, pretty much.

And it's too bad he couldn't stay up, because there is more "fun" to be had. The rest of the team is attempting to enjoy the "feast," which turns out to include undercooked meat served in a wad on some banana leaves. It's not really what they had in mind when they heard that there would be feasting, although you can tell they don't want to be rude or ungrateful. Fortunately, after the meal, things get a lot better. Because it turns out that the little kids of the village have learned a song to sing to the Americans, and they're willing to teach it. Being taught to sing is a lot less dangerous than being served meat on banana leaves. I believe the song is in English, though it's hard to make out much of it beyond "We are very happy when [I think] you visit." Aw. You can tell they don't know these people at all, or you'd be able to make out the words "Don't let the door hit you" somewhere in there. A semi-drunk Chris sings along, as do Ami and Eliza, and then everyone claps. "I'm catchin' on to that song!" Chris says happily. Hee hee. I just realized that among the people Chris reminds me of is, oddly, Ty Pennington in his less annoying moments. (Yeah, yeah, I know, they are few, blah dee blah.)