Culture Shock And Violent Storms

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Hanging Chad

Previously on He Never Found A Decent Reality Show To Go On, And He Wound Up Living In A Vanuatu Down By The River: Following the ouster of Rory, the men attempted to regroup. This little piggy came to camp, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy cried "PUT ME DOWN, BITCH" all the way home. Scout made sure to convey her dislike of Eliza at the reward challenge, because why hide your bitchiness? It's not a popularity contest! Leann and Julie bonded over chicken wings, leaving Scout insecure and short of poultry. The women made it evident that they have no use for Eliza, and the men reacted with predictable ineptitude and cluelessness by attempting to get Eliza booted, rather than attempting to form an alliance with her. Ami won immunity, but it really didn't matter, because nothing had changed, as nothing has changed for weeks and weeks, and one of the guys was going, no matter what. In the end, even Chris voted against Sarge, most likely to avoid voting for any of the women, lest he need one of them later. Sayonara, Sarge. I didn't really like you, your tendency to flap your ass in the wind, or your skeevy reaction to being rubbed against by Julie, but I still disapproved of your exit for its predictability alone.

Credits. Looking at the women in this group makes me feel short and stumpy, but at least I am authentic. Even on days when I'm dumpy, at least I'm not Tofumpy.

Night 24. The tribe returns from tribal council in night vision. When they get there, the pig is waiting. And judging. He has come for you. He knows about every BLT you have ever eaten, and he is not amused. Unafraid of the Pig of Vengeance, Chris announces that this was the hardest tribal council yet, because ten minutes before they left, Sarge asked him whom he was voting for. Chris claims to have told Sarge he wasn't sure, and then explains that Sarge pulled him aside one more time to say that Chris should vote for him. And what reason did Sarge allegedly offer? "Everybody else is." So Chris explains to the group that this is why he voted for Sarge. It's not the worst idea I can think of. On one hand, it isn't like Chris is going to break into the women's alliance by showing solidarity with it, so it's hard in that respect to see why he bothered doing this. What I think it really did was clear Chris of responsibility for voting against any of the women. He doesn't want the animosity or distrust of whomever he would have had to pick to vote against, and he wants them to know that neither the vote against Julie nor the vote against Eliza came from him. But he also doesn't want them to think that he turned on his friend, or that he was just engaged in a craven effort to save himself -- as he actually was. Thus, this sob story of Sarge giving Chris the all-clear to vote him off. Unsurprisingly, of course, this tale of Sarge's selfless sacrifice isn't true, as Chris tells us in an interview.

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