Survivor
Cut Off the Head of the Snake

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Give Me The Idol

We don't get to see the schoolyard pick because that might give us too much insight into current alliances, I guess? And somehow the teams ended up as Reynold, Eddie, Erik, Cochran and Michael versus Phillip, Dawn, Andrea, Brenda and Malcolm with Sherri sitting out. Seriously, how did that happen? How did all the guys end up on one team? We will never know.

Brenda gets the idea to loft the ball up over the defender's head into the goal and it works, so pretty much everyone does that after her and gets it into the goal. The goalie was useless once they figured out that strategy. Great challenge, guys. Anyway, the purple team wins. It's super boring.

The winning team heads to the waterfall to rappel. Cochran is understandably apprehensive since he's teamed up with all these jocks, but he gamely gives it a try and good for him. Reynold, of course, bounds right down and compares himself to James Bond. What a dick. Reynold interviews that this was like a locker room after a big win as we see him belching loudly. I love a good belch, so let's not pretend like that's a dude thing. Michael tries to bring up strategy talk, and how the last Fan vs. Favorites was dominated by women at the end, so it would be cool if this one were dominated by the men. Reynold throws in, "Hope's gone, so there's no one worth fucking anyway." No, he said that. Why bother with the women? They're all ugly. First of all, it's telling that he considers the measure of a woman's worth whether or not he would fuck them. Second, Brenda? Andrea? I can see a dick like Reynold not even considering Sherri or Dawn since they are over 30, but Brenda is one of the most beautiful women to ever play the game, if you ask me. And who says shit like that in 2013? God, I hate him.

Wait, then Reynold gets worse. He explains that they're pitching Cochran to join their all-guy alliance, but he says they are going to "bro down" and "get these scheming, crazy girls that keep flirting with all of us out of here." Did he really just say BRO DOWN? He is the absolute worst. I've never been a big fan of Cochran, but I nearly get off my couch and cheer when he interviews that Reynold must not know him well if he thinks he can be swayed by "masculine tomfoolery with these numbskulls." Yay, Cochran!

Back at camp, no one is that upset about the loss. Malcolm interviews that he was psyched to have a chance to talk to the two people he thinks are on the bottom of the Favorites alliance: Sherri and Dawn. Really? Dawn? I thought she was pretty tight with her alliance. I think they would get rid of Brenda before Dawn, but what do I know? Anyway, Malcolm pulls Sherri aside and talks to her about joining him as part of a final five, which he thinks would be more appealing to her than being number eight in a final eight. Then he tries to get Dawn involved as well with a quick conversation in the jungle.

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Survivor

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