Survivor
Cut Throat

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Double Trouble

Te Tuna (worst tribe name ever, and there have been some doozies). Night 21. The merged tribe (minus the just-voted-out Keith) trudges back from Tribal Council after Cochran's big move. Ozzy wants to talk to Cochran alone, so they walk off to the side and Ozzy seems to actually give Cochran a chance to explain. Cochran says that it wasn't about hurting Ozzy or anyone else; he just didn't want to leave his fate in the game up to picking a stone out of a bag. Ozzy says very condescendingly that Cochran screwed him over but suddenly! There's a tiny lemur in camp! Oh, wait. That's just Brandon. I never realized how tiny Brandon is. He's seriously got to be like 5'3" or shorter. Cochran and Ozzy both tower over him. Anyway, Brandon is there to make sure Ozzy isn't "being aggressive" towards Cochran. Ozzy promises that they're "not like gangsters out here." What does that even mean? Does he mean gangsters like old-timey Mafia guys? Or gangsters like modern gang members? Or something else entirely?

So Brandon leaves and Ozzy says that he put himself on the line many times for Cochran and then got stabbed in the back, which isn't true. Ozzy mostly tried to convince everyone else to vote Cochran out for the first few weeks. Cochran says his move was purely self-preservation. Cut to a quick interview where Ozzy says that self-preservation is for "wieners." Yes, how dare Cochran try to save himself in this game show where the strongest team wins! Everyone knows that only a team of five or more people can win the title of Sole Survivor. Except for the part about "sole" Survivor. Anyway, Ozzy realizes it's going nowhere and walks away, which gives Jim a chance to sidle up and call Cochran a fucking coward a few more times. Jim needs anger management. And a better poker face. And maybe to smoke some of that medicinal marijuana he's selling.

But wait! Whitney hasn't had her turn to yell at Cochran! She pulls Cochran aside and confirms that he's the one that flipped. She reminds him that she and Keith saved him three times. They did? There is a whole lot of creative math going on here with this "saving" business. Cochran tries his "self-interest" line again but Whitney says Cochran has "a lot to learn" and he disgusts her. Does she even hear herself? I get why they are angry with him, or disgusted that he screwed them over. Because I would be mad, and I would be upset. But what good does it do to pull him aside and tell him off? Start cozying up to him! He's clearly on the winning side now. It can only help, and it can't hurt. Dawn is the only one who seems to realize this. But yelling at him is only helping Upolu feel like they did the right thing by taking him under their collective wing. Idiots.

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Survivor

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