Dangerous Creatures And Horrible Setbacks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Thick, Ankled

Previously on Shouting "Fire" In A Crowded Combat Theater: Janu saw some rats, and she really hates rats. Koror in general wasn't too damn happy about having lost their flint in the water and being stuck on a new beach without any shelter to speak of and without the fire they should have. Caryn bitched that the new beach was the worst beach that ever beached itself, endearing herself to no one, including the Palau Chamber of Commerce. Over at Ulong, Angie felt edgy, but then she went berserk on the reward challenge and was rewarded herself with the big big love of all the giant pecs on her team. This made her purr like a kitty. Both teams got fire -- Ulong with the reward challenge victory, and Koror with an impressive display by its cool kids (who, for once, are the actual cool kids, which never happens, and what is up with that?). Ashlee insisted that four days wasn't long enough for her to get hungry, but Jeff and Kim were hungry in an entirely different way. (Chicka-wocka chicka-wocka.) Kim flaked on the immunity challenge entirely, leaving Koror -- by which I mean "Tom" -- to take the victory home. Steph wanted to get rid of Kim, but Jeff wanted to keep her around for, um, strategic reasons. That's it! Besides, he figured, Ashlee was dead weight, and less and less of it at that. In the end, everybody apparently decided it wasn't worth hassling with Jeff over the Kim situation, and they booted a seemingly resigned Ashlee in an anticlimax worthy of...well, any soccer game, ever. Four people are already gone. Oh, boy, whom can we get rid of now?

It is Night 6 at Ulong. A crab is present. Stephenie says to assembled night-vision reclining types that she thinks the tribe needs to stop losing challenges and people and not go to any more tribal councils. Good plan, I'd say, if a know, simple. She also chitchats with Jeff about how Probst was a bit rough on them at tribal council. Steph says in an interview that she thinks the vote was very telling, because Jeff and Kim both got votes, and in fact, if everybody had stuck with their original votes, Ashlee would still be around and Kim would be gone. So...once more through the previouslys, then. Steph thinks Jeff and Kim are aware of their precarious position -- a suspicion apparently borne out when Kim pouts that she isn't even sure now whether she should go back and sleep with Jeff anymore, because people might think they like each other. Steph says, faux-sympathetically, that Probst called them out like they were a couple. Which they are so not! Kim says this "pisses her off." Jeff recalls in an interview how Probst put this issue to him, and how he went with his brilliant "It's for warmth" defense, which I'm sure was immediately believed by everyone whose turnip-truck stench is plenty fresh. Kim whines in the shelter that she "[doesn't] like questions like that." Because she likes privacy? Something like that? Because...come on. If you're going to sleep snuggled up to a guy with a camera in your face, you ought to understand that you might be asked whether it's a romance or not. Some people think it implies closeness. (I know!) Anyway, for whatever reason, Miss Kim doesn't like "questions like that." She interviews that she doesn't want people, as she pronounces it, "con-JUR-ing up this image up in their head that's not accurate." Oh, Kim: hitting new lows for pronunciation and credibility. She adds that she doesn't "want that image," and that, I do believe. Because it's deadly. Deadly!

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